Happy New Year 2018

It's that time of the year, and for the 18th time*, I have no choice but to wish you a happy next year, considering what's going to happen in 2017:


January 2017:

On the 20th, Vladimir Putin is sworn in as the 45th POTUS.
Donald Trump is swearing in the background.

February 2017:

In the final moments of Superbowl LI in Houston, the Moscow Hackers upset the New York Trumps as Barron Trump fumbles Mike Pence's Hail Mary pass.

March 2017:

Theresa May triggers Article 50, but Brexit backfires, and the UK lands into a limbo known as Breshold.

April 2017:


Galaxy S8 sells like hotcakes, and as hotcake warmers. Meanwhile, Apple celebrates its 100,000th iPhone 7 explosion without a recall, and Huawei posts record sales of its latest stylus, the Frying Pen.

May 2017:

In the French presidential elections, Putin friend Francois Fillon defeats Putin-friendly Marine Le Pen. After so many good news, Vladimir Putin dies of a heart attack.

June 2017:

The 46th President of the United States, Mike Pence, scares Ruth Bader Ginsburg to death before nominating a fundamentalist to replace her.

July 2017:

Vice-President Donald Trump and former Vice-President Dan Quayle form a rock band called 'The Unpresidented Potatoe'.

August 2017:

Usain Bolt is prevented from taking part to the Athletics World Championships in London, and a Luxembourgian wins the 100 meter dash following the publication of JamaicaLeaks, RussiaLeaks, AmericaLeaks, and Breleaks.

September 2017:

Following successful terror/ fake news campaigns fueled by ISIS, Dmitry Medvedev, and Breitbart Deutschland, Angela Merkel loses the German federal elections to Frauke Petry (AfD), who invites Donald Trump to her victory lap in Nuremberg.

October 2017:

At long last, JFK assassination records are disclosed. DJT says he'll release his tax returns in 2070.

November 2017:


A few months into power, the new South Korean president is impeached following the revelation that he was the only leader of a democracy not to be under the influence of Russia.

December 2017:

The Nobel Peace Prize goes to Rodrigo Duterte. Russia denies any involvement in the hacking of the Nobel Committee.


blogules 2016
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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* see "Happy New Year 2010" (Jan 2009), "Happy New Year 2011" (Dec 2009), "Happy New Year 2012" (Dec 2010), "Happy New Year 2013" (Dec 2011), "Happy New Year 2014" (Dec 2012), "Happy New Year 2015" (Dec 2013), "Happy New Year 2016" (Dec 2014), "Happy New Year 2017" (Dec 2015), "Happy New Year 2018" (Dec 2016)... and in French: "Bonne Année 2009" (Jan 2008), "Bonne Année 2010" (Dec 2008), "Bonne Année 2011" (Dec 2009), "Bonne Année 2012" (Dec 2010), "Bonne Année 2013" (Dec 2011), "Bonne Année 2014" (Dec 2012), "Bonne Année 2015" (Dec 2013), "Bonne Année 2016" (Dec 2014), "Bonne année 2017" (Dec 2015), "Bonne année 2018" (Dec 2016).

Iron Lady (Ashes To Ashes, Rust To Rust), Meet Hugo Chavez

For people like me who grew up during the 1970s-1980s, Margaret Thatcher was an outstanding marker in politics: preceded and succeded by nobodies at home, she saw the USSR shift from Leonid Brezhnev to Michail Gorbachev, the USA shift from Jimmy Carter to Ronald Reagan (nevermind 41), the Germanies of Helmut Schmidt and Erich Honecker shift to Helmut Kohl's reunited Germany, France shift from Valery Giscard d'Estaing to Francois Mitterrand, the Vatican shift from Paul VI to John Paul II, South Korea shift from PARK Chung-hee to ROH Tae-woo, and North Korea shift from KIM Il-sung to KIM Il-sung. She even outruled by a few months her old friend Augusto Pinochet.

CNN's weird choice of a background picture to announce the passing of Margaret Thatcher: with the now infamous Jimmy Saville. Thaville and Satcher? Note that it could have been even worse for the Iron Lady: a picture of her with Ronald Reagan.

Margaret Thatcher embodied at the same time the United Kingdom and its very negation, always the present or the past, never the future. In many ways, she was a caricatural leader, sharing traits with statesmen she didn't share many ideas with.

So who resembles most Margaret Thatcher as a leader? Certainly not Angela Merkel or Julia Gillard, who've done little more than winning against Gerhard Schroeder and Kevin Rudd, and then benefiting from their reforms.

I'd rather look in the supposedly opposite direction. Why not Hugo Chavez? Both he and Thatcher revived a nation by stubbornly replacing obsolete ideologies with obsolete ideologies.

blogules 2013
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
NEW: join blogules on Facebook!!! and Twitter (@stephanemot, @blogules)

Angry Birds - Acropolis

Can European leaders destroy the Greek landmark, move to the next level, and break their debt records ? This version of the "Angry Birds" game looks rather easy.

The dream team is ready:
- first you've got the small red bird, the EU. You know, the whatchacallit stuff around the EuroZone, where David Cameron is sometimes invited to give a speech. Totally powerless, but if it keeps knocking at your door it can cause some damage.
- then there's the yellow bird, Sarkozy. A pointed face and a crooked walk, but it can suddenly accelerate and crash head first into whatever's on its way. Spectacular, but it can't huff and puff a real wall down all by himself.
- now the big red bird, that's a completely different story. That's Merkel. It's slow and heavy, and it doesn't move often... but when it does, even the hearth trembles.
- another bird that can cause havoc ? The black one, Berlusconi. A touchy thing that can't fly far, but when it lands it simply explodes and destroys everything.
- I almost forgot to mention the blue bird, the Baltic states. From a distance it looks like a tiny small fella, until you realize there are three of them. Still not very powerful, but boy can they break'em glass ceilings !
- but the bird that's the closest to finish the game is the white one, Papandreou. This egghead moves slowly, then drops his bomb, and escapes in a hurry.

Next level : Angry Birds - Roma.

blogules 2011

Of haircut and hair-splitting trends in Europe

Here are the main decisions taken in Brussels by Eurozone leaders :
- Greece is saved : since George Papandreou was already almost bald, banks will get the haircuts. And as the first country to adopt the new SubEuro, Greece shall inaugurate S&P's new rating systems (phi beta kappAAA)
- Italy is saved : Silvio Berlusconi's ratings will not be downgraded (BungabungAAA+)
- France is saved : andouillettes will keep their most attractive labels (AAAAA)
- Germany is saved : Angela Merkel will control the European Financial Stability Facility (EFSF). She already mandated her new finance minister, Herman Cain, to implement his latest 9-9-9 formula (9% Bitburger, 9% Tsingtao, 9% CaipirinhAAA+)
- the UK is saved : David Cameron will become King of the Northern half of the NonEuroZone and the nation enjoy its specific ratings (USAAA-)
- the Euro is saved : as soon as Mario Draghi succeeds Jean-Claude Trichet as head of the ECB, all junk bonds shall be handled by Naples Waste Managment Offshore Limited (CamorrAAA+)

Not everyone agrees.

Ever the rebel and the haircut and hair-splitting diva, Paris Hilton decided to initiate the Occupy Rodeo Drive movement. And in order to fend off police forces who may try to prevent her from raiding shops, she can count on her latest Fendi Hit Bag.

blogules 2011

The Avengers (2010)

Did you notice ? David Cameron would make a perfect young Patrick Macnee.

But Nick Clegg as Emma Peel... ? If you don't mind, I'll stick to Diana Rigg.

The New New Avengers series were launched during an outdoor press conference routine, complete with the staged question from a friendly journalist, Nick's fake departure, and Dave's begging "please don't go".

To facilitate the transition of power Joanna Lumley recently met the Prime and Vice-Prime, simultaneously.

What is exactly a "Deputy Prime Minister" ? What are his powers ? Is see at least two : the power to pull the plug when he pleases, and a few legs until then.

blogules 2010

G20 on Twitter

@barackobama.com : "uh... hem... Look : 120 characters left. Good day : we reached an agreement. Bonus: prevented a fight btwn Sarko and Hu."

@nicolassarkozy.fr : "Good day : I made the headlines and saved the World as usual. Bonus : prevented war btwn US & China."

@hujintao.com.cn : "Good day : saved Macau & HK, purchased the US, cut ties btwn France & Dalai Lama. Bonus: spied UK in the process."

@gordonbrown.co.uk : "Good day : managed to kept my chin up, and my jaw not too low."

@tayyiperdogan.com.tr : "Good day : Shimon Peres wasn't there."

@robertzoellick.us : "Good day : if a Bushite like me gets a hike during this slump, there's still hope for easy money."

@bankimoon.un.org : "Good day : wish we had the same cast at the Security Council."

@abhisitvejjajiva.com.th : "Good day : was right behind Obama on the photo. Bad day : his smiles eclipsed mine."

@taroaso.co.jp : "Good day : wasn't caught sippin' sake."

@dmitrymedvedev.ru : "Good day : I kept those morons busy while Vlady nuked Georgia. Even got an Obama autograph."

@stephenharper.ca : "Bad day : got locked in the johns during the official photo op."

@mbtious.co.kr : "Good day : Kim Jong-il helped me get an itw w. BO."

@lula.com.br : "Good day : was hired as a bodyguard for Brown and the Queen. Kept that French lunatic away from Barack."

@angelamerkel.de : "Good day : was seated next to Oby for dinner, far from Sarko on the final picture."

@dskimf.com : "Good day : I got a budget to purchase flowers for Michelle Obama."

@silvioberlusconi.it : "Good day for plastic surgery : on the pixes, I look younger than Obama and Medvedev combined."

@kevinrudd.com.au : "G'day and seeya."

Red blogule to French oldcons, neocons and cons in general

The French are switching from a Left / Right to a Conservative / Progressive political rift. The defining moment was the vote for the European Constitution, with a significant collateral damage : the end of the Socialist Party (PS) as we've known it since Francois Mitterrand claimed it a couple of decades ago.
Reformers from the PS have more in common with reformers from the UMP than with their fellow party members stuck somewhere in the middle of the XIXth Century. Sarkozy and fellow reformers have successfuly sidelined traditional conservatives within their own ranks - a minority of harmless old farts snoring all day long at the Senate.
I'm sure the French economy would perform well with Nicolas Sarkozy, but I'm rather scared by his attacks on secular legislations and his ability to fuel radicalism and fundamentalism. I don't quite like the idea of this man enjoying the support of both US and Israeli fundamentalists and neocons, and even the presence of a Karl Rove wannabe on his side, Brice Hortefeux.
I'd rather see a more moderate kind of reformer rule the country. Francois Bayrou (UDF) has a clear opening since Dominique Strauss-Kahn lost the PS primaries vs Segolene Royal. Should he reach the second round of these elections, he would crush Royal and could even be a problem for Sarkozy (if socialist voters prefer barring Sarko to abstention).
Segolene Royal is not a moderate reformer. She is neither conservative nor reformist. She is an ambitious person used to follow charismatic leaders and has some trouble turning into a charismatic leader radiating with her own views. She keeps putting all opinions at the same level and refusing to take any clear position. As expected and despite a massive victory in the socialist primaries (60%), Royal proved unable to get full support from her own party. A couple of days ago, a group of VIMs from the left (Very Important Women) were considering a petition to call for her withdrawal from the presidential race - just to make sure this wouldn't be interpreted as yet another proof of France's reactionnary machismo (anytime Royal is under attack, she bites with the issue back).
Bayrou may be closing the gap, Royal is still far ahead of the centrist candidate and she still has a large and motivated core of supporters. But she flunked last week-end's exam, introducing a program that didn't really prove disruptive... but for the national budget. A copycat of Mitterrand's 1981 program, which led that man to the top job but the country to the bottom : a massive budget deficit, a big financial crisis and a total loss of international competitivity at a critical moment. Eric Besson, the man in charge of the financial side of Royal program, timely decided to quit after a clash with Francois Holland, secretary general of the PS and Sego's longtime compagnon.
Right now, Sarkozy enjoys a comfortable lead in the polls. But he has also been trapped into a lousy campaign where everybody promises everything to everyone. Even Bayrou, the apostle of budget orthodoxy, claims a 20 billion Euros program.
Ten years ago, France was ahead of Germany in its reforms. But the PM, Alain Juppe, went too far too quick, and Chirac (not so wisely advised by Villepin) decided to dissolve the assembly. The PS won the 1997 elections and Lionel Jospin surfed on the internet bubble years to post nice growth rates, but also to reform the country the wrong way (more spendings and the mother of all mistakes ; the 35-hour Week). Chirac won again in 2002 but limited new reforms to cautious steps when his neighbor Gerhard Schroeder would take all the risks. Schroeder lost to Merkel but Germany is now much fitter than France to face future challenges.
Here's the new deal for France : an economic breakdown with Segolene Royal, a political gamble with Nicolas Sarkozy. Should Francois Bayrou win next May, he would have the opportunity to form a new party with socialist and UMP moderate reformers. Instead of going down by turning right or left, France must try to go and grow up.

Red blogule to London calling... for trouble

Two days ago, 135 people were killed in a terror attack in Baghdad's Sadriya market. That one did make the headlines, unlike the other days, when terror claims only the equivalent of the 7/7 London bombings.
About the same day, many people were arrested in London in what appeared to be a plot to abduct and behead a muslim soldier. A great victory for counter terrorism being often followed by the revelation of a not so glorious news for the Government, I just sat and waited for it to pop up.
It didn't take long for UK's army to confess 15 minor soldiers had been sent to Iraq. Actually, underaged combattants happened to be one of the few disgraces lacking to Tony Blair's impressive collection. We'll have to scratch our heads to find the next one...

According to Saint Tony, 7/7 had nothing to do with Iraq and the invasion of Iraq had something to do with the war on terror.
According to me, Ruppert Murdoch had something to do with the election of Tony Blair and Fox News' broadcasting of the invasion of Iraq as "War On Terror".

Tony will leave power soon ; the next guy, either Gordon Brown or David Cameron, will also have to sign a pact with the Devil to get elected ; and the "Winner" will face a new kind of terror : a wave of youngsters trained in Iraq and ready to spread chaos across the United Kingdom and Europe.
They have the European citizenship and they are from all origins, not necessary "foreign". They won't need to strike with a bomb in a major touristic area to get their point. Any small IED (Improvised Explosing Device) or any single shot in any neighborhood will do. Random abductions and killings will make anyone feel insecure. Terror at its simplest, purest and scariest level.
Chirac and Blair gone, Merkel taking her marks, let's see what kind of leadership emerges in Europe. The fundamentalists may want to play a role in the coming elections : Europeans would be inspired not to put a Dubya look alike in front of them.

White blogule to new signs o' new times

Stunning. Sharon's face as he was listening to his rival's speech. Lost, his own fat self sitting alone, without the ability to communicate thanks to a spectacular sabotage from members of his own party... Let him grow some beard and wear the kaffiyeh and you've got the spitting image of his longtime ennemy Yassir Arafat.
So the old man wrote down his vision for his Likud peers : we had to give up Gaza, you can't cheat demography. And this time, he wasn't the one to ignite the violence in the strip : "harderliners" would drop the bomb from his very right, which proves wider by the day.
Yet, Netanyahu was supposed to win but didn't. Ditto Donald Tusk and Angela Merkel. Le Petit Nicolas Sarkozy should be careful : times they are a-changin for US neocons' faves. The world needs reforms but the people craves for moderate leaders.
Besides, everywhere, fundamentalists and extremists confirm their strong footprints but cannot rule on their own. Radical stances losing ground, they're using less subtle ways to win over democracy : their words proving empty, they just eliminate moderate voices. Bringing fear pays in the short term but not in the long one.
This is certainly not a U-turn (and shouldn't be) but for the first time in 4 years, being the toughest one doesn't pay.

Red blogule to Europe's Genetically Modified candidates

While Dominique de Villepin exposed his ego to the UN spotlights among actual world leaders, Nicolas Sarkozy paid a visit to a fellow White House nominee for the Supreme Court of New Europe Courtisans, Poland's Donald Tusk.
Tusk had already met with yet another neocon favorite, Angela Merkel, and received the support of a longtime US Christian Fundamentalists' icon, Lech Walesa. Sarkozy also shook the hand of this great servant of Mother Amerika.
Merkel is suffering a tough campaign but Tusk is left with no opponent since Wlodziemierz Cimoszewicz, the man who weeks ago was supposed to win the elections, gave up after a smear campaign so perfectly led it could have been directed by The Great Architect himself (a walk in the park considering the quality of the building material : oil scandal).
Now that W.C. has been flushed down the toilets of History, press group from all across the world rejoice : they won't have to invest massively in Scrabble boxes and can save time each time they write about both Tusk and the ennemy of "Old Europe", Donald Rumsfeld.