Exclusive Transcripts From Clinton Presidential Records

The Clinton Presidential Center will soon release new batches of Presidential Records. Here's an exclusive preview, for your eyes only - transcripts from phone conversation recorded during his last year at the White House (at this stage, we can't tell "final year" since Bubba may come back as the First Gentleman):

Conversation with First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton:
- "No Hillary, that's not what you think. I didn't inhale her perfume."

Conversation with Vice President Al Gore:
- "Sure you don't want my advice? To block Bill Bradley, I'd hire The Shaq. And for your running mate, get yourself a Joe with a six-pack smile. Biden, not Lieberman. Just sayin', but mark my words."

Conversation with First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton:
- "Chappaqua sounds nice, but how will we pay for the house? We're already drowning under legal bills - and speaking of water, heard of any potential Whitewater scheme around?"

Conversation with Secretary of State Madeleine Albright:  
- "Don't be mad at me Mad, but I won't intervene in Sudan to get bin Laden. That country's so fragile it could break in two."

Conversation with Chief of Staff John Podesta:
- "What do you mean Hillary didn't like that intern? I checked her credentials and they look terrific: she not only worked for our D-Fla guy, but also wears D-Cup."

Conversation with President George Herbert Walker Bush:
- "Yes, I'll consider your request to pardon your son... but frankly, who cares if he drove under influence as a youngster? Dubya's already way out of his league as Governor of Texas, and it's not as if he were running for something really big, uh?"

Conversation with Vice President Al Gore:
- "No, Al, that's not what you think. I was not making a pass at Tipper, and we're not communicating through codes - don't tell me you also invented the telegraph."
 
Conversation with President Boris Yeltsin: 
- "No, Boris, I don't hate you - but you must understand that I can't join you for that vodka party in your dacha right now."

Conversation with First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton:
- "You don't have to worry about Rudi Giuliani anymore. And same thing about Chappaqua: Lawrence Summers and Alan Greenspan got me the best mortgage offer - they told me it was like Al's internet, a sure bet."

Conversation with Prime Minister Ehud Barak: 
- "What are you doing this July, Ehud? Fancy spending some time with friends in Camp David...? Who will come? Uh... some friends, you know, around a good barbecue - kosher, of course. Please bring your knife for the cake."

Conversation with President Yasser Arafat:
- "What are you doing this July, Yasser? Fancy some time with friends in Camp David...? Who will come? Uh... some friends, you know, around a good barbecue - halal, of course. Please bring your own territory."

Conversation with First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton:
- "No, that's not what you think. She was talking about my saxophone. I just told her to play our favorite song, you know? Fleetwood Mac's 'Don't Stop'..."

Conversation with McDonalds at 750 17th St NW:
- "Uh... three Extra Value Meals, please: one Double Quarter Pounder, and two Big Macs. With Coke, yes. Oooops wait a sec' - I almost forgot the girls: Hillary, Chelsea, what will that be for you?"


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After Arafat, will Tel Aviv hawks terminate Mahmoud Abbas ?

Abandoned by the US, humiliated by Netanyahu, crippled by his own behavior during the destruction of Gaza, Mahmoud Abbas announced that he had "no desire to run in the forthcoming election".

The parallel with Yasser Arafat is clear, and Tel Aviv hawks used the same strategy. The main disapointment for "Abu Mazen" came from Obama, unable to deliver the goods and to prevent Israel from pushing its radical agenda (see "Israel accepted as true the choice between its security and its ideals").

Yet, it's not as if Abbas said he wouldn't run in 2010. There's still a chance, a thurst for "desire". But the message his clear : my "authority" is a farce, only Israel and the US can decide the future of Palestine. They were the ones who put the Hamas where it is, and the Fatah in this terrible shape. My failure is their failure, and I'm afraid the US will keep washing their hands on my martyrdom until I die.

Before this speech, Abbas didn't stand one chance to win in 2010. Now, he is provoking change : status quo or any further delaying from Washington would be be as lethal as if Hillary and Barack themselves hammered down the nails.

He's not as much saying "I quit" as asking "hey Barack, do you want our blood on your hands ?"

If Israeli moderates want to speak up, now is the time. J Street is gaining ground in Washington, the UN is pressuring for a follow up to Goldstone's report, and there is still room for peace. Palestinians need real, tangible hope. If Hamas wins, Netanyahu wins, Israel loses.

blogules 2009

Palestine : the Pakistan-Bangladesh scenario

Ehud Olmert and his fellow hawks eventually succeeded in putting the Gaza Ghetto in the hands of the most radical elements of Hamas. All they needed was to inflict years of humiliation, to illegally abduct key moderate leaders, and to carpet bomb any attempt of conciliation.

Back in January 2006*, I envisioned a Pakistan - Bangladesh scenario for the Gaza Strip - West Bank couple, with radical islamists ruling over the former and unharmful people struggling to survive in the latter. Among the key differences : the Bengali suffer from abundance of water.

The time has almost come.

Israeli hardliners can measure the success of their strategy, and the crucial** help of a fellow fundamentalist named George W. Bush. They didn't need Dubya to get rid of Yitzhak Rabin, but they badly needed his support to crush the peace process initiated with Bill Clinton.

As usual, Shimon Peres keeps the glam (Nobel Prize, presidence) and avoids direct combat in favor of peace. Ehud Barak joins the government with the label of a member of opposition, but the new Defense Minister is a renowned expert in camouflage as a cross dresser who paved the way for Sharon by sabotaging the 2000 Summit in Camp David, putting the first nails on Arafat's coffin.

Now I don't see how moderates can win elections in Israel, how violence can be prevented from spreading. Fundamentalists have won in Palestine, in Israel, in the USA and in the Muslim world. Warmongers are gaining momentum and the only way to stop this madness would be to give a strong signal against the Commander in Thief.

Impeach Bush-Cheney.

PS : don't bet on strong critics on Israel by US prez candidates before November 2008




* see "Red blogule to Ehud Olmert - the Bangladesh scenario" (20060125)
** no pun intended, Mel

Red blogule to Operation Summer Rain - peace drowned in monsoon

Israel won't enjoy longlasting peace if its government keeps humiliating Palestinians. Just like Bush's Amerika, Sharon-and-now-Olmert's Eretz Israel openly mocks at intra-and-international laws, exacerbates hatred, fuels radicalism, extremism and terrorism, loses all respect and credit from moderates.
Just like Sharon got rid of Arafat, Olmert can wack Hamas but it doesn't matter since the annilihation of each of every one constructive hope today means the creation of thousands of new ennemies tomorrow.
And all this for what ? Just artificially keeping a minority of ultra-conservatives and fundamentalists alive ; species bound to extinction in a peaceful world.
Where on Earth are Israel's moderates ? Why are they keeping silent ? At least, we know why the US are not doing anything to stop this sick joke...

White blogule to new signs o' new times

Stunning. Sharon's face as he was listening to his rival's speech. Lost, his own fat self sitting alone, without the ability to communicate thanks to a spectacular sabotage from members of his own party... Let him grow some beard and wear the kaffiyeh and you've got the spitting image of his longtime ennemy Yassir Arafat.
So the old man wrote down his vision for his Likud peers : we had to give up Gaza, you can't cheat demography. And this time, he wasn't the one to ignite the violence in the strip : "harderliners" would drop the bomb from his very right, which proves wider by the day.
Yet, Netanyahu was supposed to win but didn't. Ditto Donald Tusk and Angela Merkel. Le Petit Nicolas Sarkozy should be careful : times they are a-changin for US neocons' faves. The world needs reforms but the people craves for moderate leaders.
Besides, everywhere, fundamentalists and extremists confirm their strong footprints but cannot rule on their own. Radical stances losing ground, they're using less subtle ways to win over democracy : their words proving empty, they just eliminate moderate voices. Bringing fear pays in the short term but not in the long one.
This is certainly not a U-turn (and shouldn't be) but for the first time in 4 years, being the toughest one doesn't pay.

White blogule to good intentions - Mind the gap

Strike the pose, George. You'll have your snapshot next to that of Jimmy & Anwar, or even better that of Billy, Yasser & Itzhak. All smiles at home, at your dear lil' White House on the prairie. After blocking all peace attempts for over 4 years and setting the World on fire... Luckily enough, you can put the blame on Arafat or even Powell for the failures of your first mandate. Not on you ("Make no mistake" is your middle name)... But tell you what : I'll even swallow my pride and endure your presence on that picture for posterity if you manage to make Palestine happen during your second mandate. Heck, even Russia celebrates Stalin for Yalta's 60th anniversary.
And you're also tackling that deficit issue now ? What a week ! Well... even divided by two this remains a huge deficit to be compared to the comfortable surplus you inherited. And you don't even take into account your little extras in Iraq. I'm sure a very efficient cut will be performed, but it's likely to be on your project by the very majority you got elected on that radical program of yours a couple of monthes ago...
I should rejoice and yet I can't help but smell a rat. Let's name it Karl for convenience. How is dear Karl gonna cope with the hardliners for 2006 and 2008 ?