Exclusive Transcripts From Clinton Presidential Records

The Clinton Presidential Center will soon release new batches of Presidential Records. Here's an exclusive preview, for your eyes only - transcripts from phone conversation recorded during his last year at the White House (at this stage, we can't tell "final year" since Bubba may come back as the First Gentleman):

Conversation with First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton:
- "No Hillary, that's not what you think. I didn't inhale her perfume."

Conversation with Vice President Al Gore:
- "Sure you don't want my advice? To block Bill Bradley, I'd hire The Shaq. And for your running mate, get yourself a Joe with a six-pack smile. Biden, not Lieberman. Just sayin', but mark my words."

Conversation with First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton:
- "Chappaqua sounds nice, but how will we pay for the house? We're already drowning under legal bills - and speaking of water, heard of any potential Whitewater scheme around?"

Conversation with Secretary of State Madeleine Albright:  
- "Don't be mad at me Mad, but I won't intervene in Sudan to get bin Laden. That country's so fragile it could break in two."

Conversation with Chief of Staff John Podesta:
- "What do you mean Hillary didn't like that intern? I checked her credentials and they look terrific: she not only worked for our D-Fla guy, but also wears D-Cup."

Conversation with President George Herbert Walker Bush:
- "Yes, I'll consider your request to pardon your son... but frankly, who cares if he drove under influence as a youngster? Dubya's already way out of his league as Governor of Texas, and it's not as if he were running for something really big, uh?"

Conversation with Vice President Al Gore:
- "No, Al, that's not what you think. I was not making a pass at Tipper, and we're not communicating through codes - don't tell me you also invented the telegraph."
 
Conversation with President Boris Yeltsin: 
- "No, Boris, I don't hate you - but you must understand that I can't join you for that vodka party in your dacha right now."

Conversation with First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton:
- "You don't have to worry about Rudi Giuliani anymore. And same thing about Chappaqua: Lawrence Summers and Alan Greenspan got me the best mortgage offer - they told me it was like Al's internet, a sure bet."

Conversation with Prime Minister Ehud Barak: 
- "What are you doing this July, Ehud? Fancy spending some time with friends in Camp David...? Who will come? Uh... some friends, you know, around a good barbecue - kosher, of course. Please bring your knife for the cake."

Conversation with President Yasser Arafat:
- "What are you doing this July, Yasser? Fancy some time with friends in Camp David...? Who will come? Uh... some friends, you know, around a good barbecue - halal, of course. Please bring your own territory."

Conversation with First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton:
- "No, that's not what you think. She was talking about my saxophone. I just told her to play our favorite song, you know? Fleetwood Mac's 'Don't Stop'..."

Conversation with McDonalds at 750 17th St NW:
- "Uh... three Extra Value Meals, please: one Double Quarter Pounder, and two Big Macs. With Coke, yes. Oooops wait a sec' - I almost forgot the girls: Hillary, Chelsea, what will that be for you?"


blogules 2014
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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Israel's Funniest Away Videos

Following the murder of Hamas VIP Mahmoud Abu Al-Madbouh in Dubai, the Emirate's authorities have been pointing a collection of fingers and cameras at the Mossad.

Of course, the question is not : "did the Mossad do it ?" but "did the Mossad lose its mojo ?"

I mean : one can expect blunders from say French inspectors Clouseaus (remember the "Rainbow Warrior" ?), but these guys are not supposed to be a bunch of amateur spies or Borat wannabes smiling for the surveillance cameras.

I wish CCTVs were that omnipresent when Ehud Barak used to dress as a woman to play pranks on Palestinians in Beirut... Maybe there's a record somewhere, who knows ?

Anyway, let's keep this UAE footage for "Israel's Funniest Away Videos".

blogules 2010

Palestine : the Pakistan-Bangladesh scenario

Ehud Olmert and his fellow hawks eventually succeeded in putting the Gaza Ghetto in the hands of the most radical elements of Hamas. All they needed was to inflict years of humiliation, to illegally abduct key moderate leaders, and to carpet bomb any attempt of conciliation.

Back in January 2006*, I envisioned a Pakistan - Bangladesh scenario for the Gaza Strip - West Bank couple, with radical islamists ruling over the former and unharmful people struggling to survive in the latter. Among the key differences : the Bengali suffer from abundance of water.

The time has almost come.

Israeli hardliners can measure the success of their strategy, and the crucial** help of a fellow fundamentalist named George W. Bush. They didn't need Dubya to get rid of Yitzhak Rabin, but they badly needed his support to crush the peace process initiated with Bill Clinton.

As usual, Shimon Peres keeps the glam (Nobel Prize, presidence) and avoids direct combat in favor of peace. Ehud Barak joins the government with the label of a member of opposition, but the new Defense Minister is a renowned expert in camouflage as a cross dresser who paved the way for Sharon by sabotaging the 2000 Summit in Camp David, putting the first nails on Arafat's coffin.

Now I don't see how moderates can win elections in Israel, how violence can be prevented from spreading. Fundamentalists have won in Palestine, in Israel, in the USA and in the Muslim world. Warmongers are gaining momentum and the only way to stop this madness would be to give a strong signal against the Commander in Thief.

Impeach Bush-Cheney.

PS : don't bet on strong critics on Israel by US prez candidates before November 2008




* see "Red blogule to Ehud Olmert - the Bangladesh scenario" (20060125)
** no pun intended, Mel