Of haircut and hair-splitting trends in Europe

Here are the main decisions taken in Brussels by Eurozone leaders :
- Greece is saved : since George Papandreou was already almost bald, banks will get the haircuts. And as the first country to adopt the new SubEuro, Greece shall inaugurate S&P's new rating systems (phi beta kappAAA)
- Italy is saved : Silvio Berlusconi's ratings will not be downgraded (BungabungAAA+)
- France is saved : andouillettes will keep their most attractive labels (AAAAA)
- Germany is saved : Angela Merkel will control the European Financial Stability Facility (EFSF). She already mandated her new finance minister, Herman Cain, to implement his latest 9-9-9 formula (9% Bitburger, 9% Tsingtao, 9% CaipirinhAAA+)
- the UK is saved : David Cameron will become King of the Northern half of the NonEuroZone and the nation enjoy its specific ratings (USAAA-)
- the Euro is saved : as soon as Mario Draghi succeeds Jean-Claude Trichet as head of the ECB, all junk bonds shall be handled by Naples Waste Managment Offshore Limited (CamorrAAA+)

Not everyone agrees.

Ever the rebel and the haircut and hair-splitting diva, Paris Hilton decided to initiate the Occupy Rodeo Drive movement. And in order to fend off police forces who may try to prevent her from raiding shops, she can count on her latest Fendi Hit Bag.

blogules 2011

Arizona Dream

On his way back from the inauguration of the Great Arizonian Iron Curtain, President McCain inspected the Louisiana oil mess from Marine One chopper : "What a waste ! All those gallons will stick to our Shouthern shores for decades instead of fueling our fundamentally sound economy... Believe me my friends, heads will roll at the FEMA : we said 'drill baby drill', not 'spill baby spill', for Chrysler's sake !"

Meanwhile...

- Veep Palin visited a Creationist School. "Onov'em kids made such a terrible mistake, I hadda get to the board rite-way to fix it by m'self. Lil'guy wrote 'when dinos roamed the Earth four thousand years ago, men used their bones to play baseball'. Can you believe it ? Did I add the e to "dinoes" ? You betcha !"

- Secretary of the Treasury Lloyd Blankfein attended a pre-G20 summit. "I was taken abacus by the audacity of a brilliant young Frenchman : Fabulous Fab Tourre suggested to Jean-Claude Trichet that Greece be wrapped in toilet paper and sold to Abu Dhabi in a bundle with the Brooklyn Bridge. I suggested we that trew in the New York Mets as well, but Fab wisely noted that it could raise suspicions."

- In Mexico City, former First Lady Cindy McCain married former First Lady Carla Bruni.

- George W. Bush inaugurated his Presidential Library. "All the 10,000 books I've read so far are here. I never use twice the same copy of the Holy Book, and the West Wing is devoted to the only other book I read : 'My pet goat'. This year I intend to start page 5."

- Senator Obama attended a Milk Party : Michelle Obama's movement claims 10,000 new members every day and she remains in the polls the front runner for 2012.

blogules 2010