Romney's big night? A bitter sleeping pill

At long last! Surviving three long days of 2012 RNC on FoxNews was already a challenge, but this last one... To tell you the level of torture: even Dick Cheney skipped it, and only "Turd Blossom" Karl Rove seemed to enjoy the stench.

Consider this:

- The moto of the day: painting Obama as Carter, Romney as Reagan. But on this RNC propaganda video of Reagan, you see the difference with Romney. Romney's name may start the same way as Reagan's, all you can see is the rhyme with money.

- Newt and Callista Gingrich reciting a soulless script with the enthusiasm of Christopher Lee snoring in his coffin.

- Jeb Bush talked about a better, fairer education system for America, and in the same breath invited on stage Sean Duffy, a teacher who judges other teachers, and qualifies them as "good" or "bad". Jeb's ideas may sound nice, his vision of "higher learning" ended up in ballot fixing, and the "equal access" he's been promoting the most efficiently is the equal access to guns. When Jeb Bush makes a comparison between diversity in milk and education, he lists 'milk that doesn't even have milk in it': I presume he wants to see Intelligent Design taught in school, that's 'pseudo-science that doesn't even have science in it'.

- After that? Rick Perry spinning weather vane Romney: oops, a whirlwind of insHannity.

- US Olympians worshipping Saint Mitt, He Who Saved the IOC. Next thing we know: Romney will be walking on water (flic, floc, flip, flop). Only on FoxNews: "It doesn't get any more American than that" (Nikki Haley about US Olympians). Eluding taxes in the Cayman Islands maybe?

- Saint Sarah Palin playing the 2008 martyr of unfair attacks by the Democrats. The Palinism of the day? "Reverse discrimination stuff", about these Dems who shamelessly display African-American or Latino speakers during their conventions for electoral purposes (indeed, no decent GOP member would ever consider such an infamy).

- Sean Hannity mentioning "false narrative". Not about the 2012 Republican National Convention, but about the Democratic campaigns unveiling the true Mitt Romney.

- A video of Mitt Romney talking about his dad. "He was immovable". Obviously the quality skipped the next generation. The only moving moment was the testimony of people who were visited by Mitt when they were in despair, but that's only a sign of good marketing know-how from a profesionnal missionary.

- Clint Eastwood tried to make Romney's day, and instead made an embarrassment of himself. His apparition had something reaganesque to it: after all, Clint brought the only star power this dullest convention in ages would ever see. But he struggled with words, remembering only a few good punchlines in an inarticulate and confuse speech. Someone had to remind him to mention Romney. Clint refused, before realizing where he was. He eventually fired "a businessman, a stellar businessman", and "let'im go". Let'im go, really. Someone, have mercy: bring a wheelchair for poor ole Clint. Please.

- After that, we had to watch Marco Rubio deliver his address to a bay of P.I.G.s. Maybe this young man needs to learn that the USA are supposed to be a democracy, not a theocracy. Rubio pitched Romney so poorly the old man reached first base before he even threw the ball. - It was supposed to be his day, and Mitt Romney stretched his apparition to the fullest as well as to the foolest. His handshaking session across the floor was an embarrassing scene where a jimcarreyshy Tin Woodman struggled to make natural contact with actual human beings. This guy's obviously not used to shaking hands without signing a contract right after.

- After robotting his way up the Calvary, Mitt read his prompt with a body language that screamed "get me out of here". Progressively, the carfully crafted script almost brought some humanity, and even actual emotion on this deadpan comedian's face, but he had to deliver at that precise moment his ultraconservative vision of women as mere mothers and housewives. Right there, Mitt lost for good the votes of independent women. Who needs a POTUS stuck in the 1950s with a vision from the XIXth century? Romney's speech was only inspiring to Bain Capital owners. It was so boring I felt like turning off the TV, until I remembered this guy was already completely disconnected.

- In the end, Mitt Romney was rescued by a sea of fellow helium balloons on stage. Paul Ryan threw in a couple of tea bags before both perfect families reunited in the usual final tableau.

Hey, Republicans, sorry to tell you that but this is not a remake of Carter-Reagan, folks: you're in for Obama-Biden vs Bob Dole-Dan Quayle, and for Obama 2012 vs Romney 1812.

blogules 2012
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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* see "Total Un-Recall: RNC 2012 In Denial, Welcome to Tampa, FL (Fantasy Land)", followed by "Lies, damned lies, and RNCs"


Lies, damned lies, and RNCs

Another marvelous day in Tampa, Fantasy Land*.

The doomed project of "humanizing" GOP candidate "I, RomnBot" continues with an incredible cast of losers:

- Mitch McConnell, a poster child for the GOP's obstructiveness in DC, criticizing the Democrats for being divisive

- Rand Paul, undeterred by the video eulogy for his not-dead-yet dad (persona non grata in the fakely harmonious reunion), delivered a more or less edulcorated version of the familial mantra, punctuated by one or two mentions of the official candidate

- John McCain, who wished he came "under other circumstances", completed the consistent "support" of an utterly divided party to an utterly flip-flop candidate: Rand Paul asked for less defense? John McCain asked for more defense, simple as that. Republicans, when Romney adresses RNC 2016, you'll feel as relieved he wasn't elected as you are now listening to this guy.

- Bobby Jindal didn't show up thanks to Hurricane Isaac, the perfect alibi to skip the embarrassing display of hypocrisy and denial.

- Rob Portman said something true: "blaming others doesn't qualify as a plan". Right. That's why the GOP doesn't qualify as a ruling party. He went on to tell a "classic American story", using his dad's entrepreneur aura for political purposes just like Mitt. Who built it? Not you guys.

- Tim Pawlenty brought tears to my face. This man is so funnily pathetic. No one laughed when he criticized Obama for being the POTUS who spends most time on holidays and golf: all other Republicans have an elephant memory long enough to remember George W. Bush. Actually, Dubya and 41 showed up on the screen. They didn't want to be associated with this comedy and just chatted by the green, remembering the good old days when they roamed the Oval Office.

- A Mike Huckabee look-alike hijacked the stage, and for one moment, I almost believed it was the same guy who kept bashing Mitt Romney on FoxNews.

- Then came Condescending Rice. The woman who contributed to the worst foreign affair messes in US history dared give a few lessons to a man who received a Nobel Peace Prize for restoring America's credibility worldwide, and got rid of Bin Laden and Gaddafi without losing one soldier. Condi Rice also dared bring up 9/11 and the way true leaders should react to crisis: by reading "My Pet Goat"? She went on and dared speak about how we should stand up against tyrants, she who sat while playing the piano for Vladimir Putin... Shameless, and proud of it.

- I'm glad Susana Martinez wasn't the last speaker tonight: by many standards, she was the ideal running mate for Romney. But by saying "no more barriers", she did nothing less than advertise for Obama's immigration policies and against Romney's program. The thing is, as soon as someone starts saying something sensible in this convention, it always sounds like an echo to the Obama-Biden campaign, and a condemnation of the Romney-Ryan ticket.

- If Paul Ryan's speech sounds familiar, that's because it was written by the same guy who carved those of Sarah Palin, Dick Cheney, and Dan Quayle, the man I keep seeing each time Ryan appears in public. Some guy may look likeable and full of humor, so was George W. Bush, also a man with more than radical and dangerous visions. Like all others, Paul Ryan lied. And I still can't believe how he dared bring up GM against Obama. Maybe he didn't vet his running mate carefully enough. Worse: the factory he said closed after Obama pledged to save it? It went down under Dubya's watch.

This convention is as outrageous as pathetic. At least, before, enemies showed up in person. Even McCain claimed 99% of the delegates in the end (only 90% for Romney).

Tomorrow, Newt Gingrich will show up in person. He wasn't allowed a prime time slot of course. But I can't wait to read between his acid lines.

Mitt Romney will close the farce. After Marco Rubio, probably his second choice if Ryan hadn't pass the cut. Not as good an orator as the Wisconsin representative, but precisely: Romney is such a downer, the damage will already be half done.

Rubio's job will be to sell Romney as a Tea Party compatible product, and maybe to to prepare the audience for another hurricane: his former rival for Florida Charlie Crist will speak at the Democratic National Convention.

So far, he's been the only (former) Republican to tell the truth: "An element of (the) party has pitched so far to the extreme right on issues important to women, immigrants, seniors and students that they've proven incapable of governing for the people".

blogules 2012
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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* see "Total Un-Recall: RNC 2012 In Denial, Welcome to Tampa, FL (Fantasy Land)" and "Attack of the GOP First Lady Wannabe clones"

Attack of the GOP First Lady Wannabe clones

Ann Romney, Callista Gingrich, Cindy McCain, Sarah McCain, Condoleeza Bush... and I spared you Elizabeth Dole.

blogules 2012
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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Total Un-Recall: RNC 2012 In Denial, Welcome to Tampa, FL (Fantasy Land)

Welcome to Tampa, FL (Fantasy Land), where the GOP is holding its 2012 Republican National Convention: an impressive gathering of the Haves, the Have Mores, and the I Vote Romneys, and basically a huge marketing event aimed at selling a soap too slippery to be held correctly, and too foamy to wash anything correctly (except maybe via money laundering in the Cayman Islands).

But Mitt Romney only made a quick apparition for Day 1 bis* of the RNC: at the end of the speech of his wife Ann, a truly remarkable person who managed to tweet while she was on stage and inspiring me the following series:

  • - Yes, Ann Romney can become the first lady. Of Puerto Rico. Or rather the Cayman Islands
  • - Oh my. Ann Sarah Romney forgot to wink.
  • - Ann Romney pours too much tons of fake empathy to sound sincere. Her "I LOVE YOU WOMEN" is embarrassingly condescending
  • - Ann Romney's "I love you women" mirrors her husband's campaign: 100% marketing 0% sincerity
  • - Hey Ann Romney, I'm smart enough to know Mitt's solutions are dumb enough: they put the US in this mess, remember?
  • - Yes, Ann Romney. Mitt Romney makes me laugh too. As long as he's not in the White House, that is.
  • - Attack of the GOP first lady wannabe clones. Can't tell Ann Romney from Mrs McCain, Santorum, Gingrich...
  • - Ann Romney truly is exceptional: she was tweeting during her speech. As if fake compassion wasn't enough...
  • - Ann Romney: "he's too Mitt to fail". Selfpersuasion is not a solution.
Of course Ann Romney didn't write that tweet, and of course she didn't write that speech. Everything in this show is fake. It's all about storytelling, with actors playing roles on stage. Ann's job was to sell Romney Soap Bars to average housewives, members of the fabled "99 percent" she read about in a Forbes Magazine Mitt left behind in the john. A distant ethnic group she romneyshly courted by a very direct and unsubtle marketing gimmick: "I love you Women!". Mia Love definitely did a better job at ticking demographic segments off Mitt's endless list.

And Romney received a ton of support in the late hours of Day 1 bis: Chris Christie. The heavyweight spoke of a Second American Century (probably Before Christie), and a fantasy land where the other party would be divided and divisive, misleading and misled. Unfortunately, the Governor of New Jersey, by portraying the ideal POTUS-VP tandem, exposed how far the Romney-Ryan ticket was from that dream. And pointing out the fact that Mitt Romney didn't even consider him for the job was the final straw: with such powerful paws, a pat on the shoulder has the same effect as a stab in the back.

Theme of the day? "We Built It". The military failures, the deficits, the economic collapse, that's us. You miss Bush-Cheney? Vote Romney-Ryan. Yes we can build it again. Relapse you can believe in.

At the RNC, divided, we never fail to make you laugh. I can't wait for Day 3 of this farce.

blogules 2012
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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* Day 1 was cancelled because of Hurricane Isaac - Hurricane Ron Paul rocked the ground on Day 0 but the GOP managed to ban it from its show

20120830 UPDATE: tweets about AR


Between balance and Ryan, Romney made his choice

Ever since Bush-Cheney-Rove destroyed the GOP from the inside, the party has lost its compass. And I've said it again, again, and again: if you're Republican, if you love your country, and if you like your party, fix the GOP before causing more damage to both*.

Until that happens, you're doomed, and bound to witness comical suicidal dashes every four years: a somewhat moderatish loser emerges from zooesques Primaries, but to achieve that he has to do things that negate his own self, and ultimately to pick a lunatic that suits the radical flavor of the month.

Four years ago, when theocons were setting the agenda, John McCain had to pay a visit to the infamous Discovery Institute and to select an ayatollah as a running mate to receive the official blessing from his old nemeses Dubya and Rove.

This time, with Tea Partiers the leading cult, Mitt Romney had to euthanize Romneycare, and to put a fiscal taliban on his ticket.

Like Palin, Ryan embodies the negation of America as a republic and as a democracy. Both politicians have a vision of politics that negates the "polis" itself, and ineluctably lead to the destruction of America as an ideal of nation.

Unless the whole country has become crazy, this sick Mitt Romney - Paul Ryan joke simply cannot go all the way to the White House.

Just like I said in 2004, just like I repeated in 2008, this GOP is bound to lose: either the elections, or its very soul.

Wake up.

blogules 2012
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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* "Grand Old Parting: fix your party before causing more damage to your country"


Retweet this: "South Korea censors freedom"?

When I opened the International Herald Tribune last Thursday, I made a bet with myself. I've waited until today Sunday and for the moment, I've won it.

The bet? "I'm pretty sure I won't see this article with the same title online, if the article ever makes it online".

The article's headline? "Tweet this! South Korea censors freedom". As you can see, it was Thursday's top headline:

This article mentions a few facts. For instance, that international observers sometimes put South Korea on par with countries like Russia because the government shows little tolerance for critics. I already mentioned the degradation of South Korea rankings in the Press Freedom Index (see "25 years later"). Nothing new under the sun.

But. This is not the kind of headlines that make a government happy. They prefer when major international media talk about Korea's successful olympics, or when they set themselves the political agenda. Say, for example, why not a last minute visit to Dokdo, eh? Done! And by a miraculous coincidence, precisely two days later (see "Worst followers").

One of the reasons why I made this bet with myself (even before the sad Dokdo episode) is that a couple of years ago, there was an interesting mutation of a NYT/IHT article between the web and the print editions, when "South Korea Admits Civilian Massacre During War" became "South Korean panel confirms full horror of civilian massacres" (see "Lost In Translation ?"). For the first time at the international level, this administration officially distanced itself from the Truth and Reconciliation Commission it was supposed to support. The termination of the institution in the months that followed was so messy that the man in charge of the dirty job eventually got fined (see "Truth and Reconciliation - Justice at last").

So as I write these lines, "Tweet this! South Korea censors freedom" has not yet made it to the IHT/NYT websites. Not even under a milder title. And if you search all the articles of the author CHOE Sang-hun, you get a list that covers the ones before, and the one that came later (I actually waited for that to happen to write this piece):

At the headline level at least, I'm sure Cheong Wa Dae approves the new editorial line: the previous articles were exposing the lavish lifestyle of the North Korean elite, and the latest one relates the visit of the Korean President to Dokdo.

Nevermind other truths, and forget about reconciliation.

blogules 2012
- initially published on Seoul Village as "Censorship about censorship in South Korea?" Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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How about sending NASA's curiosity probe to Planet Romney?

NASA's Curiority probe lands on Mars: "Next stop: Planet Romney! But that's even further from Earth, and I won't be allowed to dig".

blogules 2012
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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2012 Mitt Romlympics

Mitt Romney brought back a couple of titles from his overseas tour:
- from London, a Gold Medal in Nosediving followed by a Gold Medal in Backpedalling
- from Israel, a Gold Medal in Bootlicking
- for good measure, his aide added more gold from Poland (Short Range Insult Shooting)

As if the guy needed more gold. You'd expect him to excel in Sailing or Polo, but he's even better at Artistic Gymnastics:
- Floor exercise (undefeated champion, great master of flip-flop and foot-in-mouth)
- High Bar (his income bracket)
- Parallel Bars (with a weakness for the kind that vertically cross a big fat "S")
- Still Rings (after all these years, they never left Mitt's and Ann's fingers - and all other rings are safely kept in the next apparatus)
- Vault (main stashes in Switzerland, Cayman Islands)
- Pommel Horse (Romney's whole universe revolves around the only part of him that never changes and never moves: you could rodeo on his hairdo, not one hair would break ranks)

The only thing missing is a record or two, but the ones from Bain and Salt Lake City have either disapeared or been destroyed, and his tax returns are far from telling the whole story. Furthermore, Romney's main achievements remain tainted, since he openly abused dubious performance-enhancing methods to optimize returns on investment.

Anyway, according to this great expert in Olympinomics, "the most important thing is not winning but taking shares".

blogules 2012
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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