Total Un-Recall: RNC 2012 In Denial, Welcome to Tampa, FL (Fantasy Land)

Welcome to Tampa, FL (Fantasy Land), where the GOP is holding its 2012 Republican National Convention: an impressive gathering of the Haves, the Have Mores, and the I Vote Romneys, and basically a huge marketing event aimed at selling a soap too slippery to be held correctly, and too foamy to wash anything correctly (except maybe via money laundering in the Cayman Islands).

But Mitt Romney only made a quick apparition for Day 1 bis* of the RNC: at the end of the speech of his wife Ann, a truly remarkable person who managed to tweet while she was on stage and inspiring me the following series:

  • - Yes, Ann Romney can become the first lady. Of Puerto Rico. Or rather the Cayman Islands
  • - Oh my. Ann Sarah Romney forgot to wink.
  • - Ann Romney pours too much tons of fake empathy to sound sincere. Her "I LOVE YOU WOMEN" is embarrassingly condescending
  • - Ann Romney's "I love you women" mirrors her husband's campaign: 100% marketing 0% sincerity
  • - Hey Ann Romney, I'm smart enough to know Mitt's solutions are dumb enough: they put the US in this mess, remember?
  • - Yes, Ann Romney. Mitt Romney makes me laugh too. As long as he's not in the White House, that is.
  • - Attack of the GOP first lady wannabe clones. Can't tell Ann Romney from Mrs McCain, Santorum, Gingrich...
  • - Ann Romney truly is exceptional: she was tweeting during her speech. As if fake compassion wasn't enough...
  • - Ann Romney: "he's too Mitt to fail". Selfpersuasion is not a solution.
Of course Ann Romney didn't write that tweet, and of course she didn't write that speech. Everything in this show is fake. It's all about storytelling, with actors playing roles on stage. Ann's job was to sell Romney Soap Bars to average housewives, members of the fabled "99 percent" she read about in a Forbes Magazine Mitt left behind in the john. A distant ethnic group she romneyshly courted by a very direct and unsubtle marketing gimmick: "I love you Women!". Mia Love definitely did a better job at ticking demographic segments off Mitt's endless list.

And Romney received a ton of support in the late hours of Day 1 bis: Chris Christie. The heavyweight spoke of a Second American Century (probably Before Christie), and a fantasy land where the other party would be divided and divisive, misleading and misled. Unfortunately, the Governor of New Jersey, by portraying the ideal POTUS-VP tandem, exposed how far the Romney-Ryan ticket was from that dream. And pointing out the fact that Mitt Romney didn't even consider him for the job was the final straw: with such powerful paws, a pat on the shoulder has the same effect as a stab in the back.

Theme of the day? "We Built It". The military failures, the deficits, the economic collapse, that's us. You miss Bush-Cheney? Vote Romney-Ryan. Yes we can build it again. Relapse you can believe in.

At the RNC, divided, we never fail to make you laugh. I can't wait for Day 3 of this farce.

blogules 2012
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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* Day 1 was cancelled because of Hurricane Isaac - Hurricane Ron Paul rocked the ground on Day 0 but the GOP managed to ban it from its show

20120830 UPDATE: tweets about AR

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