At long last!
Surviving three long days of 2012 RNC on FoxNews was already a challenge, but this last one... To tell you the level of torture: even Dick Cheney skipped it, and only "Turd Blossom" Karl Rove seemed to enjoy the stench.
Consider this:
- The moto of the day: painting Obama as Carter, Romney as Reagan. But on this RNC propaganda video of Reagan, you see the difference with Romney. Romney's name may start the same way as Reagan's, all you can see is the rhyme with money.
- Newt and Callista Gingrich reciting a soulless script with the enthusiasm of Christopher Lee snoring in his coffin.
- Jeb Bush talked about a better, fairer education system for America, and in the same breath invited on stage Sean Duffy, a teacher who judges other teachers, and qualifies them as "good" or "bad". Jeb's ideas may sound nice, his vision of "higher learning" ended up in ballot fixing, and the "equal access" he's been promoting the most efficiently is the equal access to guns. When Jeb Bush makes a comparison between diversity in milk and education, he lists 'milk that doesn't even have milk in it': I presume he wants to see Intelligent Design taught in school, that's 'pseudo-science that doesn't even have science in it'.
- After that? Rick Perry spinning weather vane Romney: oops, a whirlwind of insHannity.
- US Olympians worshipping Saint Mitt, He Who Saved the IOC. Next thing we know: Romney will be walking on water (flic, floc, flip, flop). Only on FoxNews: "It doesn't get any more American than that" (Nikki Haley about US Olympians). Eluding taxes in the Cayman Islands maybe?
- Saint Sarah Palin playing the 2008 martyr of unfair attacks by the Democrats. The Palinism of the day? "Reverse discrimination stuff", about these Dems who shamelessly display African-American or Latino speakers during their conventions for electoral purposes (indeed, no decent GOP member would ever consider such an infamy).
- Sean Hannity mentioning "false narrative". Not about the 2012 Republican National Convention, but about the Democratic campaigns unveiling the true Mitt Romney.
- A video of Mitt Romney talking about his dad. "He was immovable". Obviously the quality skipped the next generation. The only moving moment was the testimony of people who were visited by Mitt when they were in despair, but that's only a sign of good marketing know-how from a profesionnal missionary.
- Clint Eastwood tried to make Romney's day, and instead made an embarrassment of himself. His apparition had something reaganesque to it: after all, Clint brought the only star power this dullest convention in ages would ever see. But he struggled with words, remembering only a few good punchlines in an inarticulate and confuse speech. Someone had to remind him to mention Romney. Clint refused, before realizing where he was. He eventually fired "a businessman, a stellar businessman", and "let'im go". Let'im go, really. Someone, have mercy: bring a wheelchair for poor ole Clint. Please.
- After that, we had to watch Marco Rubio deliver his address to a bay of P.I.G.s. Maybe this young man needs to learn that the USA are supposed to be a democracy, not a theocracy. Rubio pitched Romney so poorly the old man reached first base before he even threw the ball.
- It was supposed to be his day, and Mitt Romney stretched his apparition to the fullest as well as to the foolest. His handshaking session across the floor was an embarrassing scene where a jimcarreyshy Tin Woodman struggled to make natural contact with actual human beings. This guy's obviously not used to shaking hands without signing a contract right after.
- After robotting his way up the Calvary, Mitt read his prompt with a body language that screamed "get me out of here". Progressively, the carfully crafted script almost brought some humanity, and even actual emotion on this deadpan comedian's face, but he had to deliver at that precise moment his ultraconservative vision of women as mere mothers and housewives. Right there, Mitt lost for good the votes of independent women. Who needs a POTUS stuck in the 1950s with a vision from the XIXth century?
Romney's speech was only inspiring to Bain Capital owners. It was so boring I felt like turning off the TV, until I remembered this guy was already completely disconnected.
- In the end, Mitt Romney was rescued by a sea of fellow helium balloons on stage. Paul Ryan threw in a couple of tea bags before both perfect families reunited in the usual final tableau.
Hey, Republicans, sorry to tell you that but this is not a remake of Carter-Reagan, folks: you're in for Obama-Biden vs Bob Dole-Dan Quayle, and for Obama 2012 vs Romney 1812.
blogules 2012
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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* see "Total Un-Recall: RNC 2012 In Denial, Welcome to Tampa, FL (Fantasy Land)", followed by "Lies, damned lies, and RNCs"
Showing posts with label Sean Hannity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sean Hannity. Show all posts
20100112
Fair & Balanced Sarah Palin to boost FOX News credibility (and audience gullibility)
Still high on her already cult classic performance at the Warnik's Woodstock, Sarah Palin joined FOX News dream team of political commentators*.
Program schedules : a comprehensive shake-up. Our own Agence Fausse Presse investigators can already bring you exclusive insights into future changes : the former Governor of Alaska may run her own shows on Fox News TV and radio channels, plus specials with each fellow star. That's according to random memos extracted from her most recently hacked email accounts (featuring Yahoo!, gmail, nra.org, and Discovery Institute) :
In duo with Glenn Beck : "for our 'Gore Rogues' routine, imagine his Guantanamo-style slapstick humor plus my pitbull-with-lipstick biting humor ! There will be blood and screams and will Alberto Gonzales be a regular guest ? You betcha ! But we'll try to reach across the aisle whenever possible. I heard Howard Dean made a pretty mean "yeehaw", but we need people with actual hatred in'em. Know what I meanie mean ?"
In duo with Karl Rove : "We'll welcome only people we like in a cosy, Barbara-Cartland-pink studio, and compose actual bouquets for them during the interviews. Dubya already said yes for the pilot and the first fifty episodes devoted to his Bush Legacy. He also promised to help us get the best possible cast to fill the first season of 'Flower Arrangements With Turd Blossom' up to the roof and over the top".
In duo with Bill O'Reilly : "We're gonna reach for Joe Six-Packs. I'll tend the saloon and he'll be our sheriff. 'Brewing Grog : an Irish life' is gonna knock unconscious the odd FOX regulars who have any trace of conscience, or trouble swallowing everything we say or scream. And I'm talking about real people, not about the 3-7% who always give the wrong answers to our live questions - that number is randomly generated by the Afghan polling software FOX got from the CIA."
In duo with Sean Hannity : "Our alternate reality show 'HealthScare : Losing Your S'Hannity' is already a commercial success. We had to auction our top sponsor slots to play fair with all Big Pharma members. Of course, lining up $10M was a pre-existing condition. They just loved the concept of Sean screaming 'you're fired' to patients recently diagnosed with lobstrosities."
In duo with Mike Huckabee : "OMG. I love'em all but I really have a special feeling for this show : "Anti-School With Sarah And Mike" will pump creationism into the most vulnerable minds, and our cute cartoons and puppets will teach'em how not to learn by themselves. In our M.O.U. with Hezbollah TV, we agreed to share some platforms, adapt a few concepts, trade worst practices, and foster exchanges between each other's most cunning writers."
Sarah Palin : "I intend to run my own edition of 'Real Amerikan Stories' doing the things I know best. Like international issues, starting with Russia, Canada, Mexiland, and Chinaware... The audience must see the world as I see it from my own windows, my own cupboards, my own gun racks. Plus of course economitics and all that stuff with Joe The Plumber - who else ? Every week I'll have a special talk show up in Alaska. Outdoors, on ski-doos, just small talk, chit-chat, shoot the moose, that kinda stuff. I expect 'Gun report, you decide' to make quite a bang."
blogules 2010
* "Palin to Join Fox News as Contributor" (Fox News 20100111)
Program schedules : a comprehensive shake-up. Our own Agence Fausse Presse investigators can already bring you exclusive insights into future changes : the former Governor of Alaska may run her own shows on Fox News TV and radio channels, plus specials with each fellow star. That's according to random memos extracted from her most recently hacked email accounts (featuring Yahoo!, gmail, nra.org, and Discovery Institute) :
In duo with Glenn Beck : "for our 'Gore Rogues' routine, imagine his Guantanamo-style slapstick humor plus my pitbull-with-lipstick biting humor ! There will be blood and screams and will Alberto Gonzales be a regular guest ? You betcha ! But we'll try to reach across the aisle whenever possible. I heard Howard Dean made a pretty mean "yeehaw", but we need people with actual hatred in'em. Know what I meanie mean ?"
In duo with Karl Rove : "We'll welcome only people we like in a cosy, Barbara-Cartland-pink studio, and compose actual bouquets for them during the interviews. Dubya already said yes for the pilot and the first fifty episodes devoted to his Bush Legacy. He also promised to help us get the best possible cast to fill the first season of 'Flower Arrangements With Turd Blossom' up to the roof and over the top".
In duo with Bill O'Reilly : "We're gonna reach for Joe Six-Packs. I'll tend the saloon and he'll be our sheriff. 'Brewing Grog : an Irish life' is gonna knock unconscious the odd FOX regulars who have any trace of conscience, or trouble swallowing everything we say or scream. And I'm talking about real people, not about the 3-7% who always give the wrong answers to our live questions - that number is randomly generated by the Afghan polling software FOX got from the CIA."
In duo with Sean Hannity : "Our alternate reality show 'HealthScare : Losing Your S'Hannity' is already a commercial success. We had to auction our top sponsor slots to play fair with all Big Pharma members. Of course, lining up $10M was a pre-existing condition. They just loved the concept of Sean screaming 'you're fired' to patients recently diagnosed with lobstrosities."
In duo with Mike Huckabee : "OMG. I love'em all but I really have a special feeling for this show : "Anti-School With Sarah And Mike" will pump creationism into the most vulnerable minds, and our cute cartoons and puppets will teach'em how not to learn by themselves. In our M.O.U. with Hezbollah TV, we agreed to share some platforms, adapt a few concepts, trade worst practices, and foster exchanges between each other's most cunning writers."
Sarah Palin : "I intend to run my own edition of 'Real Amerikan Stories' doing the things I know best. Like international issues, starting with Russia, Canada, Mexiland, and Chinaware... The audience must see the world as I see it from my own windows, my own cupboards, my own gun racks. Plus of course economitics and all that stuff with Joe The Plumber - who else ? Every week I'll have a special talk show up in Alaska. Outdoors, on ski-doos, just small talk, chit-chat, shoot the moose, that kinda stuff. I expect 'Gun report, you decide' to make quite a bang."
blogules 2010
* "Palin to Join Fox News as Contributor" (Fox News 20100111)
20090303
GOPgle - Don't Be Evil
A few quotes of the week :
Rush Limbaugh to Sean Hannity on FOXnews about Barack Obama : "So I shamelessly say, no, I want him to fail".
Michael Steele to CNN about that bout : "Rush Limbaugh is an entertainer. Rush Limbaugh's whole thing is entertainment. (...) Yes, it is incendiary. Yes, it is ugly."
Michael Steele to Politico.com a little later : "My intent was not to go after Rush - I have enormous respect for Rush Limbaugh. (...) I was maybe a little bit inarticulate".
Well, you WERE articulate, Mike.
And you were RIGHT :
- First, Limbaugh IS an entertainer. In the same interview, he managed to smack this pearl of wisdom well over the fence : "I'm a thinker. A lot of people, I guess, aren't - People are emotional and they react emotionally to things". Or to credit FDR for Hoover's failure, and to consider WWIII as the solution to our problems : "The new deal didn't work. You know, Hoover was president through the depression for one year. FDR prolonged the new deal for seven or eight years, and yet he's given credit for ending the depression. Didn't happen. World War II ended it. "
- Second, yes, what Rush says is both ugly and incendiary. Not his wishing for a failure of "socialism" (what he actually meant), but his venomous speech about race throughout the interview, the typical way he's denying racism while fueling it - something Steele must have felt even more acutely than I did.
Steele first reacted as a sound leader for the good of his party, his country, and mankind. I don't think this man will manage to kick fundamentalists out of the GOP*, but I like his early-Googlish "Don't Be Evil" approach. Republicans must redefine themselves and if they keep positioning themselves AGAINST things or people, they are bound to remain at least one step behind things and people.
Yes, Steele did make a few political concessions to his right afterwards, but unlike Rahm Emanuel (who deliberately fueled Limbaugh's fire a little bit earlier), he did the right thing in the first place.
Bobby Jindal obviously didn't the right thing in his first major speech as the top contender to a match up with Obama in 2012**. "Being compared to Mister Rogers is better than some of the other comparisons we've had here in the past" - in very deed, Piyush : you should be glad not to have been compared to Fred Rogers' coathanger instead.
Anyway, forever lost in his own angry Limbo, Rush won't be seen singing "Won't You Be My Neighbor ?" anytime soon.
This great self-proclaimed "thinker" probably never dared consider that "Love Thy Neighbor" could mean anything beyond "Be a good Amerikan : get your gun and join my Neighborhood Watch".
* remember ? "GOP : Time to Split" !
** or rather 2016 - see "GOP Primaries 2012 Kick-off - Charlie Crist's Second Coming"
Rush Limbaugh to Sean Hannity on FOXnews about Barack Obama : "So I shamelessly say, no, I want him to fail".
Michael Steele to CNN about that bout : "Rush Limbaugh is an entertainer. Rush Limbaugh's whole thing is entertainment. (...) Yes, it is incendiary. Yes, it is ugly."
Michael Steele to Politico.com a little later : "My intent was not to go after Rush - I have enormous respect for Rush Limbaugh. (...) I was maybe a little bit inarticulate".
Well, you WERE articulate, Mike.
And you were RIGHT :
- First, Limbaugh IS an entertainer. In the same interview, he managed to smack this pearl of wisdom well over the fence : "I'm a thinker. A lot of people, I guess, aren't - People are emotional and they react emotionally to things". Or to credit FDR for Hoover's failure, and to consider WWIII as the solution to our problems : "The new deal didn't work. You know, Hoover was president through the depression for one year. FDR prolonged the new deal for seven or eight years, and yet he's given credit for ending the depression. Didn't happen. World War II ended it. "
- Second, yes, what Rush says is both ugly and incendiary. Not his wishing for a failure of "socialism" (what he actually meant), but his venomous speech about race throughout the interview, the typical way he's denying racism while fueling it - something Steele must have felt even more acutely than I did.
Steele first reacted as a sound leader for the good of his party, his country, and mankind. I don't think this man will manage to kick fundamentalists out of the GOP*, but I like his early-Googlish "Don't Be Evil" approach. Republicans must redefine themselves and if they keep positioning themselves AGAINST things or people, they are bound to remain at least one step behind things and people.
Yes, Steele did make a few political concessions to his right afterwards, but unlike Rahm Emanuel (who deliberately fueled Limbaugh's fire a little bit earlier), he did the right thing in the first place.
Bobby Jindal obviously didn't the right thing in his first major speech as the top contender to a match up with Obama in 2012**. "Being compared to Mister Rogers is better than some of the other comparisons we've had here in the past" - in very deed, Piyush : you should be glad not to have been compared to Fred Rogers' coathanger instead.
Anyway, forever lost in his own angry Limbo, Rush won't be seen singing "Won't You Be My Neighbor ?" anytime soon.
This great self-proclaimed "thinker" probably never dared consider that "Love Thy Neighbor" could mean anything beyond "Be a good Amerikan : get your gun and join my Neighborhood Watch".
* remember ? "GOP : Time to Split" !
** or rather 2016 - see "GOP Primaries 2012 Kick-off - Charlie Crist's Second Coming"
20081203
MSNBC Replaces FOX News - Jon Stewart
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