The Swamp Thing

This White House Correspondents' Dinner started on a weird note, and not just because of that 'elephant not in the room', who left his usual personal swamps (WH, Mar-a-Lago) for PA*.

Jeff Mason ruined a night he thought was for him instead of for press freedom, journalism, and the first amendment. The head of the WHCA led as if the show were a middle school gathering, before leaving the mike to Carl Bernstein, who elevated the debate, and to Bob Woodward, who reached one notch higher, while laying the first light touches of humor.

Then Hasan Minhaj hijacked the party, and saved the night.

Here he was, a fake reporter unsettling the cream of the elite of journalists not used to be the butt of the joke on that so special night.

Mihaj certainly didn't spare Trump, Spicer, Putin, or Bannon - he put positive pressure on the media to balance the negative one these enemies of democracy keep pouring on them: I'm just a comedian, I'm just a mirror exposing your flaws, so stop being just a mirror reflecting what these guys throw at you, and do your job. I don't want to watch CNN just watch the news. And I don't want people who watch us tonight to just watch me watching you watching the news. We all have to up our games.

We the media, we the satirists, and we the people.






blogules 2017
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* The Donald, who is not as environmental friendly as the actual Swamp Thing, left his usual personal swamps (WH, Mar-a-Lago) for PA:

"Trump is so weak he called another victory lap meeting because that was the only thing he knew would prevent him from watching WHCD 2017" (twitter.com/stephanemot/status/858491052470149120)

After helping him boost their ratings, CNN dump Trump

These days, I usually have Trump for breakfast, courtesy CNN. Seoul time is perfect to enjoy primary debates (that, at times, look and sound like debates between primates), and the daily dose of Trump delivered by this network to build up more audience than Fox News for its own GOP debate.

Fun to see Anderson Cooper and Co. pull out two negative stories against Teflon Don the very day following said debate.To be fair, both issues had to be raised: one on a event supposed to be for Veterans, the other on an anti-Muslim question raised at a Town Hall meeting.

Anyway, here's my scorecard for yesterday's debate - +s and -s are not an appreciation of each candidate, but my perception of their net gain/loss compared to before the debate:

• +++ Carly Fiorina confirms her lock on the Veep position, and she can aim higher. But for that, she needs to show her 'human' side... if any. 
• ++ Jeb Bush did more than show up. He scored high on family values (wife, dad, bro), and stole some weed from W's wisecracking stash. If his body language remains that of a reluctant and insecure leader, he gained precious points where in the previous debate, he was more into not losing any.
• + Marco Rubio moved to the next level, back into challenger territory. His stupid joke on California drought might cost him an important State for the primaries.
• + Chris Christie remains the dude you want to listen to. He perfectly seized each opportunity to shift the debate to audience-connecting grounds, like in his inaugural address, or with his remarks on the 'entertaining' bragging bout between Carly and Don. He cleverly displayed his Conservative credentials, and positioned himself as the good cop who knows when to get tough. He'd make a very strong nominee against any Dem candidate, but stands little chance for the moment in a GOP primary.
• = Ben Carson was a bit more at ease than in the first debate, where he didn't impress me much, but scored big. He didn't show anything new, but risks less of losing ground than Trump in that regard. Still, he left Bush take seat number two.
• = Scott Walker had his moments, but can't help looking like a lightweight. This GOP wants a different presence on stage.
• = Ted Cruz carved himself into a cold, stubborn monolith that only like-minded people can stick to.
• - John Kasich stuck to his unmovable script, a rambling old timer stuck in the past.
• - Rand Paul did receive an initial boost from DT, who honored him by noticing his presence. But he continued on his negative trend, even if he fared much better than last time, using the Constitution as a cane to prevent further collapse.
• - Donald Trump donaldtrumped for three hours, but in front of Reagan's Air Force One, Air Farce One played too often defense, exposing moments of inertia that may cost him more than his outrageous remarks. This man badly needs something new to last. He's still the biggest presence, but boy, did he look like an old, tired lion about to lose his alpha male status... He even failed to compare himself to Ron born-again Republican Reagan.
• -- Mike Huckabee is already out of the race, a commentator speaking of the nominee as a distant third person.

*

My Twitter timeline around the debate:


20150826 - Watched today's episode of The Apprentice President on CNN. As usual, Donald Trump outdonaldtrumped himself. (twitter.com/stephanemot/status/636331305089679360):

20150915 - Daily dose of Donald Trump on CNN. As usual, as funny as scary. (twitter.com/stephanemot/status/643585423235637248)

20150917 (Debate Day part I):
. GOP debate of smaller losers drawing to an end on CNN (twitter.com/stephanemot/status/644295898319556608)
. Armaggdon - GOP debate (twitter.com/stephanemot/status/644300121971167232)
. Scott Walker Back in the Race. Jeb Bush caught between him & Donald Trump. Body language of a weak bystander - GOP debate (twitter.com/stephanemot/status/644306529454129152)

20150917 (Debate Day part II):
. Ted Cruz thinks he'd be the perfect theocratic commander in chief to face a 'theocratic ayatollah' - GOP Debate (twitter.com/stephanemot/status/644312765625008128)
. Jeb Bush confirms his advisors advised dad George H. W. Bush and bro George W. Bush... (twitter.com/stephanemot/status/644330158984265728)
. Jeb Bush: G.W. Bush kept us safe. By fueling worldwide terror? By paving the way for ISIS? - GOP Debate (twitter.com/stephanemot/status/644331145597816832) 
. Jeb Bush - Donald Trump low fiving now - GOP Debate (twitter.com/stephanemot/status/644344804105711620)

. Curious to see how Donald Trump bubble scores now. Issues were raised at GOP debate, and he played defense (twitter.com/stephanemot/status/644347252366946304)

20150917 (Debate Day part III):
. Donald Trump on CNN: nobody did bullying. Rand Paul might disagree (twitter.com/stephanemot/status/644349243705065472)
. As expected, Carly Fiorina secured the Veep spot. Aiming higher now, but too tough. Losing a kid to drugs a handicap then. GOP debate (twitter.com/stephanemot/status/644373833021919232)
20150918
.CNN waited after GOP Debate to demolish the Donald Trump they've helped build up to boost their ratings. Raise anti-Muslim, Vet issues (twitter.com/stephanemot/status/644670334562471936)

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Mitt Romney detonates himself, the fifth victim of the Benghazi attack

Mitt Romney officially became the fifth casualty in the Benghazi attack, and he did that to himself in a defining moment of the presidential campaign.

This was not about who knew what when, nor even about winning an argument: the Republican candidate simply proved unfit for the job, and certainly not credible as a potential Commander in Chief. Barack Obama was not just "presidential", he was The President, the man in charge, a world leader strong on principles, doubtless about what he stands for, confident in his ability to cope and to deliver.

Romney blindly persisted in the very role he was asked to distance himself from: a partisan, non-presidential candidate, barking where national unity is required, positioning himself at a lower level than his rival, and ultimately losing face when moderator Candy Crowley delivered the independent verdict: I checked the facts, and the president is right on that one, you just lost the elections.

After the debate, I shortly switched to Fox News. Somebody obviously died in the family, they all looked like they were at a funeral. 

Only 20 tweets during the debate? I'm getting rusty

I presume the former BCG exec heard about the Peter Principle but today, he faced his own incompetence. And body languages spoke volumes: a 65 year old businessman without a vision for the future and without a clue about what public service means, facing a strong, consistent, wise world leader leagues above him.

From the start, Mitt Romney didn't seem on a good day: when he came forward to answer the first question, he did it a bit awkwardly, then he shot his rehearsed story too fast for it to seem natural. The former Governor fared better later in the debate, but remained mostly on the defensive, even on his supposedly own turf.

And this time, Barack Obama was there, and enjoying the debate.

Yes, again, he missed easy opportunities, juicy, low hanging fruits any trained debater would die for. Again, he wasn't the one who raised the 47% issue. And sticking to economics when it came to similarities between George W. Bush and W. Mitt Romney... how about values and contradictions, how about foreign policy? Obama won a Nobel Peace Prize, restored America's honor worldwide, and got Bin Laden. The overwhelming majority of Romney advisors on foreign policy worked for Bush-Cheney, and last summer, Romney himself almost provoked a war with England!

But Barack was there, back with his mojo, his bright eyes, his firm coolness.

And there was the defining moment when Romney detonated himself.

Who cares what happened before and after? Who cares if Romney persisted in his outrageous sales pitches? Who cares if Obama oopsed a "when I was President"? Who cares if the NRA supports Romney more than ever after that chat on gun control?

By the way: I must praise Candy Crowley for her choice of questions from the audience. Without her, this kind of critical issues would have been obliterated from the campaign.

There was a moment when I thought the moderator lost the control of the debate, and when both candidates where getting at each other at close range in an inaudible non-dialog, I was hoping she'd come up and say "hey kids, recess is over, back to work". But she eventually stood up and won the day.

Now back to work, indeed. Everybody. Barack Obama in the White House, where he belongs. Mitt Romney back to Bain and the Caymans, where he belongs. And the Republicans back to the drawing board, as far from the White House and the Congress as possible, where they belong until they - at long last*! - reform the GOP into a party fit to govern.


blogules 2012
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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* see "Grand Old Parting: fix your party before causing more damage to your country"

---
(UPDATE) illustration: twitter posts during the debate  (@stephanemot)

Mitt's Kill Big Bird Moment

Barack Obama is a nice guy. He debated with Mitt Romney like he would handle any topic: respecting the other party, focusing on solutions for the common good.

Today, the POTUS forgot he was in a Presidential debate, that the aim was not to convince Romney but to convince US voters. And while he focused on issues and sense, Mitt Romney was the only one campaigning, without opposition. Obama won the rational debate, Romney the political one, the one that matters.

And it doesn't matter if Obama talked more (don't expect the Jim Lehrer kind of debate animation from Candy Crowley). Romney was allowed to play his role of the day.

Doctor Mitt the debater destroyed all the arguments of Mister Romney the candidate because that's what voters want to hear, not his embarrassing - and theoretically off the record - briefs at fundraisers. Heck. Obama was almost happy to have for once a Republican on his side.



John and Jane Smith probably didn't notice the fact that Romney kept hammering what he wouldn't do as a President (the opposite of what he'd always said he would do until then), but never specified what he would do. What they heard what a well prepped candidate who tuned his voice to Reagan level, loaded his speech with encounters with actual human beings he met in his spin doctors' dreams, a man who seemed to know his priorities even if he used the same "that's number one" mantra for every issue.

I still don't have any clue about Romney's plan. Scratch that. Tie the dog to the car's rooftop, kill Big Bird, it's coming in slow motion, but I start seeing some pattern. Zoophobia?

Grey, tired, elsewhere, Obama didn't fight. And did Romney offer him occasions to get beaten? You betcha: when he said "high income people are doing fine", when he said he had no idea about overseas tax breaks, he the outsourcer, he of the accounts in 30 tax havens... un-be-lie-va-ble.



Who trained Obama for the debates? John Kerry played Mitt's role. I love this guy*, but precisely, as I was watching this debate, it seemed like Kerry-GWB redux, the sincere guy winning in substance, the fake one winning in image. The difference? Polls showed that Kerry won the debates, and here (according to a CNN flash poll before the usual spin room), Romney won not only very easily overall by two to one, but on every single issue.

Romney aides must be wetting their pants right now, and I hope independent voters won't get fooled again.

I cannot imagine the same scenario for Debate II. Barack Obama will have to show some teeth, and expose the Cayman behind Doctor Mitt.

blogules 2012
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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* again, what a speech at the 2012 DNC (see "Bubba Clinton rocks DNC 2012: GOP Unity My Ass!")

Video: "Mitt Romney Style", after PSY's Gangnam Style. If you know Seoul a bit, it can't get Gangnamier than this

Bubba Clinton rocks DNC 2012: GOP Unity My Ass!

The day the NRA and the AIPAC stop dictating political platforms, the USA might become an independent democracy.
 
Day 2 of DNC 2012 started in damage control mode: the Democratic platform had to mention God and Jerusalem to pass the theocratic cut. The POTUS didn't need to receive a 3 A.M. call from the AIPAC to sense the danger for November 6. You can count on conservative pundits to spin this non-event as a blahblahgate blown to biblical proportions, but the case got easily closed. For good measure, Madeleine Albright pinned a splendid "Pro-Israel" brooch on Obama's chest. 
 
And the incident proved that at least, the Democratic Party remains open for debate. Heck: Sister Simone Campbell was even allowed to deliver her "pro-life stance"! And she didn't crucify Romney just to redeem herself or simply because he's a Mormon. 
 

 
Day 2 of DNC 2012 soon switched back to full groovy mode. The floor fretted at the news that Barack would meet Bubba on stage later in the night, and everybody waited for something special from Liz Warren.
 
Meanwhile, with only a few VIPs on stage to hammer the messages (in substance: if Barack Obama stands for working people in the US, Mitt Romney rather watches his own money work in the Caymans), CNN served slices of Hillary to fill the blanks. The Secretary of State had seeked refuge in NonCharlottistan during the Convention, and I bet John Kerry will succeed her for Obama Season V, but when she was abruptly asked how she judged her "boss", she answered with one of the sweetest compliments she ever made to her 2008 rival. Amazing "grace" indeed.
 
Meanwhile, still, John King delt his full deck of maps. I'm pretty sure that when he sleeps, John King sees red and blue county maps. Grey ones when he's got a nightmare. And when he can't fall asleep? He probably recounts Florida 2000 ballots.

Eventually, we didn't have to wait long for great moments. Sandra Fluke did more than deliver a pro-choice speech. She brought down the house and for that, she didn't even have to raise her voice. Sandra Fluke simply rose and use her voice, exactly what conservatives don't like in a woman.

At the beginning of Elizabeth Warren's "warm up act for President Clinton", I confess I thought she too needed a warm up act. Then she started addressing the issues that count, and my oh my, if independent voters listen to her speech, they'll instantly tear down the GOP ballot. Warren stood for all humans against the inhuman program of Romney-Ryan. The best answer to Mitt's infamous "corporations are people".

Bill Clinton trumpeted Barack Obama's second term from Yesterday's Gone to Forward Folks. Not as perfect as Michelle Obama yesterday (Bubba can be too talkative and professoral), but he won her heart by offering his best support to the "man who had the good sense to marry" her. What a one man show! Simply unstoppable. Barack ? "A man cool on the outside but burning for America on the inside". The RNC 2012? In "an alternative universe". Correct location, Bill. And we're not even mentioning Romney's "moral compass", more than questioned by Randy Johnson, a former Bain employee, a couple of hours earlier. By the way, Mitt: Joe Biden's seat is not empty, but all others are. For the standing ovation in his honor, courtesy POTUS #42.
 
Professor Bill Clinton slammed Mitt Romney: the wannabe should learn arithmetic before giving lessons on budget. And even on jobs. America is better off without Republicans who cost her one million jobs by crippling the Congress, and of course GM is better off without Romney in the driving seat. Paul Ryan? It takes an Irishman to know one, it takes a saxophonist to know brass, and "it takes some brass to attack a guy for doing what you did". Struck out, the rookie.

Not only did Bill deliver an even better speech than he would have for himself, but this final, powerful Clinton-Obama embrace? You couldn't find a more perfect union at work.

Cruel comparison with that cold reunion of losers right after Ryan's acceptance speech... Last time Mitt Romney hugged someone so hard, nine month later Ann had their last kid.

 
blogules 2012
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* see "DNC 2012 Day 1: Come Together, Now"

DNC 2012 Day 1: Come Together, Now

If the 2012 Republican National Convention was all about getting at Obama and at each other's throats*, the 2012 Democratic National Convention reminded us from Day 1 the origin of the word "convention": literally "coming together".

Everybody is behind President Barack Obama, and everybody shares the same positive vision of America as a land open to opportunities, not a land confiscated by opportunists. Everybody looks forward with a man who is proud of his record and doesn't try to hide it.

The thing is that America's better off than when Obama took office except politically, and precisely because of the GOP's deliberate sabotage and systematic obstrusive tactics. RNC 2012 only highlighted internal wars, dogding key issues? DNC 2012 resolutely faced Afghanistan, war, and veteran issues, and Tammy Duckworth stood in front of Romney Duckforcover like a Brave in front of a Dodger.

Stacey Lihn also stood in front of Romney like a brave for her daughter Zoe, who owes her life to Obamacare and may lose it if Mitt were elected. Obama cares for you, Zoe. For Romney you're just a burden, some distant statistics. And each time Republicans talk against Obamacare, they point out the fact that Obama cares, and that Romney doesn't, that he simply doesn't get it.

Clint Eastwood couldn't find his words while talking to an empty chair? Ted K. slammed Mitt's Ks from his grave (Deval Patrick, Rommney's successor as Massachusetts Governor wrapped the Boston sandwich).

I'm glad I switched to CNN for the DNC: I could watch Ted Strickland's awesome one man show. Towards the end, I quickly zapped to check that FoxNews censored him in order to protect "Romney the outsourcing pioneer"... and that they aired boring Kathleen Sebelius instead. Thanks to CNN, I could bump into past and future comets, from Mike Dukakis to Kamala Harris.

I'm not always a fan of Rahm Emanuel, but I liked the way he summed-up Obama's score: General Motors alive, Bin Laden dead. Romney prefers General Motors dead and Bain Capital alive. GOP tried to sell Romney-Obama as Reagan-Carter*, but Mitt's not even Reagan's empty chair, and Barack and Michelle's siblings (Maya Soetoro-Ng & Craig Robinson) are leagues over Billy Carter!

Following Martin O'Malley's boring speach, Joaquin Castro woke up the audience, and Julian Castro rocked the house, nailing Mitt "flip-flop" Romney with the sweetest "actually..."

Michelle Obama clearly won the day. She's not just a great First Lady and Mom in Chief, but a wise politician and a fantastic leader. Where Ann Romney read a script and played a role*, Michelle Obama spoke her mind out, the most sincere and convincing way. She's the one who fights against obesity, not for fat profiteers. She's the one who stands for the 1% who matter: those defending the nation, not those dodging taxes and military duties. And she's the one who cleaned the White House after 2010, and put Obama back on tracks for 2012. Tonight, Michelle Obama connected, and smacked America's most powerful home run. Over the fence, beyond all divisions. The First Lady.

Truth is: Obamas care, Romney scares.

Come together, now.

blogules 2012
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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* see "Total Un-Recall: RNC 2012 In Denial, Welcome to Tampa, FL (Fantasy Land)", followed by "Lies, damned lies, and RNCs" and "Romney's big night? A bitter sleeping pill"

US debt : Fools House

The debt-ceiling deadblock can be easily summed up this way : while Barack Obama is trying to prevent the economy from collapsing, John Boehner is trying to prevent the Republican party from imploding.

Of course, as we well know (see "GOP: time to split"), the said implosion started with the 2004 elections, but US voters are just beginning to understand the GOP dilemma : this party cannot at the same time win the 2012 elections and save its soul.

The only way of saving face without caving in would be to submit for vote an absurd proposal bound to crash, and to blame Democrats for the failure.

Well US voters proved that they could be fooled once (giving Newt Gingrich the right to torpedo the budget during the mid 90s), and even twice (giving GWB the right to nuke America's value and economy for four more years during the mid 2000s).

At least twice.

The other day I watched Tim Pawlenty trying to sell, on CNN's "State Of The Union", the idea that they'd been fooled one more time by Obama because the deficit tripled under his first term.

But Candy Crowley was not fooled. And she kindly reminded Pawlenty of the 2008 situation, when only he and the John McCain he campaigned for believed the US economy to be still "fundamentally sound".

Unlike Tim Pawlenty, John Boehner is not a fool.

Just a liar.

blogules 2011

We need to talk about Kim

Hours after the shelling of Yeonpyeong island by North Korea (probably part of Kim Jong-un's training as the next mad leader - KIM the Third obviously wanted to be part of the South's naval exercises), the promotional campaign for "Korea, a good neighbor", was still playing on CNN.

Seoul's official reaction to this new provocation is likely to be one notch down the nice cop scale used after the Cheonan Tragedy (earlier this very strange year, also ridden with skirmishes). Some wrists shall even be slapped. And of course, hectoliters of tears shall flow.

"A good neighbor" ? This side of the DMZ, most certainly.

But to paraphrase Lionel Shriver's book*, "We need to talk about KIM" sooner or later.

blogules 2010 (first published on Seoul Village)

* "We need to talk about Kevin"

Lake - Hodson - Stevens

I used to like Fareed Zakaria and Christiane Amanpour (pronounce: meeee, Christiaaaaaann Amaaaanpur) when they focused on their subjects instead of themselves. Now I don't see journalists but ambitious egos. I hope Hala Gorani won't follow the same path.

What I do enjoy on CNN International is the World Business Today NYC-HK-London trio composed of - respectively - Maggie Lake, Andrew Stevens, and Charles Hodson. They are kind, eager to bring the news, and obviously enjoying the moment they share together without competing against each other (not a meagre feat in this mine field). Don't expect in-depth analysis from Stevens, but don't expect a horripilating Richard Quest moment either : where Quest plays the clown, Stevens seems closer to the circus announcer launching a pleasant ping pong game between a sharp and to the point New Yorker (Lake) and a witty Beeb-raised Britton (Hodson).

CNN International's weird roster also includes a Canadian garden elf sans beard (Jonathan Mann), a bambi mesmerized by her own reflection in a mirror (Anjali Rao), an overweight Peter Graves (Jim Clancy), or a nip / tuck survivor (when Rosemary Church needs to workout her calves, she only has to pronounce the letter "o" - I don't want to know what happens when she goes all the way and closes her mouth).

BBC World News boasts a different stable : a Philippino toad speaking like a machine-gun (Rico Hizon for Asia Business Report), a hedgehog speaking through his nose (Jonathan Charles), a British-Pakistanese cat articulating like no other (Mishal Husain), a Mel Gibson wannabe pantomime-ing business news (named ???), a tall Droopy unable to say "you know what ? I'm happy" (Peter Dobbie), or a veteran CSIS / MI5 / KGB / Mossad / DST / mole (Lyse Doucet).

Most of them are endangered species : simple English will eventually prevail worldwide as it does across the US.

blogules 2009

Geithner Takes Bullet, Bullet Spares Buck Obama

CNN's Ali Velshi cornered Geithner on the AIG bonus scandal : the Treasury not only knew about risks of bonuses to be awarded but prevented Sen. Chris Dodd from adding a clause to minimize them*.

Tim takes the blame raher unconvincingly : he uses the first person for the legally binding part of his job ("It's my responsibility, I was in a position where I didn't knowabout those sooner, I take full responsibility for that"), swiches to the second person for the future "now let's fix it" section ("In any case, we're going to go back and try to recoup the payments that were already made we had no legal ability to block at that time"), but keeps his distances with the third parties who actually dunnit : "The people doing this, the Fed and the Treasury people, are workingvery closely together".

"They, the People" of the Treasury, won't like this, Tim.

You just caught a bullet for your boss.

The previous day, Barack Obama changed his tune regarding the AIG mess : OK I'm angry but look, the buck stops here, I'm responsible.

The bullet stopped before reaching the buck, and I'm glad Geithner took it. From the beginning, this man was Obama's poorest pick.



* "Geithner: Treasury Pushed For Bonus Loophole (VIDEO)" (HuffPost - 20090319)

Lobby Dick Tries To Retire, Fails To Retract

As the newly reformed League of Justice (D.C. Serious Comics) consider putting behind bars the Supervillains who disgraced America over the past 8 years, one of their most abject leaders resurfaces.

Last time we saw The Evil Doctor Cheney, he was pitifully escaping with his master Victor von Dumb in an helicopter. Their lair had just been raided by Captain America, who even humiliated von Dumb in public with his most powerful weapon ; a loud and concise X-ray speech exposing the imposter. The hero then threw this protective shield over the nation : "We reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals".

It's hard to tell whether von Dumb will ever recover from his wounds. Somewhere deep into the darkest swamps of Amerika, The Rover is probably trying to revive his creature. D.C. Serious Comics declined to comment, but a sequel could be in the making under the title "Amerika Doomed : The Legacy".

We do know for sure the man known as Lobby Dick is still alive. Yesterday, he even rose from his armchair to deliver a "State of the Union with John King" address on CNN.

The Anchorman's hulk of a body was protected by a 8-inch adamantium-reinforced glass table, but for good measure King cast a few spells on The Creepy Veep, using quick hand gestures on his Magic Screen : as some of the Supervillain's most shameless moments were instantly brought back to life, there was no chance anyone in the audience could misinterpret his snarl for a friendly smile.

King first asked Doc Dick what he thought about Captain America's first weeks in power :
- "This League of Justice is dangerous : they are changing the very definitions of democracy, justice, freedom, science... cancelling all the much needed reforms we brought to the dictionnary over the last eight years. Next thing you know, even listening to Rush Limbaugh will be considered cruel and unusual punishment".
- "Well... isn't it already, I mean technically ? And what do you think about the use or abuse of the new superpower called Stimulus ?"
- "You sometimes do need a stimulus to get things going. For instance, when I don't get an answer or when I get an answer that I don't like, electroshocks can prove useful. But this Stimulus is a joke. Let's be clear : this country needs bullets, not bullet trains. Tax cuts for the rich, ax cuts for the poor. And a nationwide pipeline network".
- "... connected with new oil fields in Alaska, I presume ?"
- "Nah... oil should keep circulating on trucks, gas-guzzling trucks doing circles, virtuous circles. This country needs pipelines for water."
- "Pardon me... did I hear "water" ?"
- "You did. Getting water all across the nation is a major challenge for this millenium : we want to democratize waterboarding - no child left behind."
- "But that's insane !"
- "Yeah. Look how poor John McCain lost his bearings... I'm sure he refuses to promote waterboarding because Arizona is too dry."
- "Wasn't it because he was tortured in Vietnam ?"
- "That's a question of vocabulary. There was no CNN at the Hanoi Hilton back then, talk about cruel and unusual punishment..."

King offered the criminal an opportunity to redeem himself : "come on, Doc, now that your ruling days are behind you, now that you have nothing to lose... why not confess that you could have done or said things a better way ?"

Hissing and shrugging, von Dumb's sidekick refused to retract :
- the collapse of the Twin Towers ? "The DemoTeam did it, we tried to save Freddie and Fannie, but this infamous gang deliberately refused to strip them from their most dangerous powers when it was still possible"
- the Deficit ? "yet another creature from the DemoTeam - we found the fingerprints of The Dude all over it. Plus we had to reprint all procedure manuals... and by the way, do you know how much it costs to build a soundproof torture chamber ?"
- the Big Bang ? "We were caught in a global tempest and had to cope with the same crisis as our allies - rumors that the crisis originated from our own labs, our very homes, are bold lies"
- Shock and Awe ? "My only regret : the CIA didn't do their job and provided us with poor intel... but luckily enough, I was there to correct them and forge the case for the invasion of Iraq. Going at a Supervillain was the right thing to do. Everybody is definitely better off now, don't you think ? Iraq has ceased to exist as a united nation, Persia has recovered its Superpower status, new enemies keep popping up from all over the planet... more than ever, this World needs Amerika."

- "And how about The Scoot ?"

The Dark Lord's face turned even more somber as The Anchorman mentioned the case that almost tore the Doc Cheney - von Dumb couple apart in the last throes of their assault on democracy : "Victor and I slightly disagreed on that one, granted. I think it has something to do with my partner's hypocrisy. That's probably the reason why he keeps hiding his true fundamentalist face behind a mask of compassion. But make no mistake : he is as dangerous as I am."

GOPgle - Don't Be Evil

A few quotes of the week :

Rush Limbaugh to Sean Hannity on FOXnews about Barack Obama : "So I shamelessly say, no, I want him to fail".
Michael Steele to CNN about that bout : "Rush Limbaugh is an entertainer. Rush Limbaugh's whole thing is entertainment. (...) Yes, it is incendiary. Yes, it is ugly."
Michael Steele to Politico.com a little later : "My intent was not to go after Rush - I have enormous respect for Rush Limbaugh. (...) I was maybe a little bit inarticulate".

Well, you WERE articulate, Mike.

And you were RIGHT :

- First, Limbaugh IS an entertainer. In the same interview, he managed to smack this pearl of wisdom well over the fence : "I'm a thinker. A lot of people, I guess, aren't - People are emotional and they react emotionally to things". Or to credit FDR for Hoover's failure, and to consider WWIII as the solution to our problems : "The new deal didn't work. You know, Hoover was president through the depression for one year. FDR prolonged the new deal for seven or eight years, and yet he's given credit for ending the depression. Didn't happen. World War II ended it. "

- Second, yes, what Rush says is both ugly and incendiary. Not his wishing for a failure of "socialism" (what he actually meant), but his venomous speech about race throughout the interview, the typical way he's denying racism while fueling it - something Steele must have felt even more acutely than I did.

Steele first reacted as a sound leader for the good of his party, his country, and mankind. I don't think this man will manage to kick fundamentalists out of the GOP*, but I like his early-Googlish "Don't Be Evil" approach. Republicans must redefine themselves and if they keep positioning themselves AGAINST things or people, they are bound to remain at least one step behind things and people.

Yes, Steele did make a few political concessions to his right afterwards, but unlike Rahm Emanuel (who deliberately fueled Limbaugh's fire a little bit earlier), he did the right thing in the first place.

Bobby Jindal obviously didn't the right thing in his first major speech as the top contender to a match up with Obama in 2012**. "Being compared to Mister Rogers is better than some of the other comparisons we've had here in the past" - in very deed, Piyush : you should be glad not to have been compared to Fred Rogers' coathanger instead.

Anyway, forever lost in his own angry Limbo, Rush won't be seen singing "Won't You Be My Neighbor ?" anytime soon.

This great self-proclaimed "thinker" probably never dared consider that "Love Thy Neighbor" could mean anything beyond "Be a good Amerikan : get your gun and join my Neighborhood Watch".


* remember ? "GOP : Time to Split" !
** or rather 2016 - see "GOP Primaries 2012 Kick-off - Charlie Crist's Second Coming"

Paulson, Sarkozy to Socialist Heaven : "show me the money !"

Europe hastily awarded some jailed Chinese dissident with some prestigious human rights prize before embarking on a plane for Beijing.

There, Jose Manuel Barroso, Nicolas Sarkozy et al went down on their knees and begged the Great Socialist Empire to let some of its wealthy reserves trickle down over the bankrupt Capitalist rest of the World.

From DC, Hank Paulson also asked the IIIrd Millenium's Hyperpower to consider some kind of a Marshall plan ("could you please bail out the US of A ? you know, we don't hate socialists that badly, after all - according to John McCain we're even about to elect one as our President").

In other words, capitalism defies socialist China : "Show me the money".

Wen Jiabao is all ears. And smiles*. "Yes, we can".

Yes, Wen can provide some kind of relief to his new admirers, but he has some fish to fry at home as well. Will he chose to secure China's business model and one fifth of the World's population, to help the richest fifth, or to give a hand to the forgotten rest ? Probably a little bit of each : China will durably strengthen its positions in Asia, Africa, Europe and America, but the trickiest part will be China itself (see "Pervasive China's CIA (Central Investment Agency)").

New series of models will emerge. Not this week-end. Nor November the 15th, when the World Egghead Forum takes place. Nor even during the couple of years to come. But timely (at a geologic time scale at least).

They will differ from XXth century socialism or capitalism (see "This is not a financial crisis"), and China is no exception.

* Actually, I'm wondering how badly Wen's jaws hurt - he was already jubilating during his interview with Zakaria a couple of weeks ago (GPS @ CNN / Newsweek). But not as much as I did, listening to Alan Greenspan swallow just a tiny little bit of his titanic pride.