Fair & Balanced Sarah Palin to boost FOX News credibility (and audience gullibility)

Still high on her already cult classic performance at the Warnik's Woodstock, Sarah Palin joined FOX News dream team of political commentators*.

Program schedules : a comprehensive shake-up. Our own Agence Fausse Presse investigators can already bring you exclusive insights into future changes : the former Governor of Alaska may run her own shows on Fox News TV and radio channels, plus specials with each fellow star. That's according to random memos extracted from her most recently hacked email accounts (featuring Yahoo!, gmail, nra.org, and Discovery Institute) :

In duo with Glenn Beck : "for our 'Gore Rogues' routine, imagine his Guantanamo-style slapstick humor plus my pitbull-with-lipstick biting humor ! There will be blood and screams and will Alberto Gonzales be a regular guest ? You betcha ! But we'll try to reach across the aisle whenever possible. I heard Howard Dean made a pretty mean "yeehaw", but we need people with actual hatred in'em. Know what I meanie mean ?"

In duo with Karl Rove : "We'll welcome only people we like in a cosy, Barbara-Cartland-pink studio, and compose actual bouquets for them during the interviews. Dubya already said yes for the pilot and the first fifty episodes devoted to his Bush Legacy. He also promised to help us get the best possible cast to fill the first season of 'Flower Arrangements With Turd Blossom' up to the roof and over the top".

In duo with Bill O'Reilly : "We're gonna reach for Joe Six-Packs. I'll tend the saloon and he'll be our sheriff. 'Brewing Grog : an Irish life' is gonna knock unconscious the odd FOX regulars who have any trace of conscience, or trouble swallowing everything we say or scream. And I'm talking about real people, not about the 3-7% who always give the wrong answers to our live questions - that number is randomly generated by the Afghan polling software FOX got from the CIA."

In duo with Sean Hannity : "Our alternate reality show 'HealthScare : Losing Your S'Hannity' is already a commercial success. We had to auction our top sponsor slots to play fair with all Big Pharma members. Of course, lining up $10M was a pre-existing condition. They just loved the concept of Sean screaming 'you're fired' to patients recently diagnosed with lobstrosities."

In duo with Mike Huckabee : "OMG. I love'em all but I really have a special feeling for this show : "Anti-School With Sarah And Mike" will pump creationism into the most vulnerable minds, and our cute cartoons and puppets will teach'em how not to learn by themselves. In our M.O.U. with Hezbollah TV, we agreed to share some platforms, adapt a few concepts, trade worst practices, and foster exchanges between each other's most cunning writers."

Sarah Palin : "I intend to run my own edition of 'Real Amerikan Stories' doing the things I know best. Like international issues, starting with Russia, Canada, Mexiland, and Chinaware... The audience must see the world as I see it from my own windows, my own cupboards, my own gun racks. Plus of course economitics and all that stuff with Joe The Plumber - who else ? Every week I'll have a special talk show up in Alaska. Outdoors, on ski-doos, just small talk, chit-chat, shoot the moose, that kinda stuff. I expect 'Gun report, you decide' to make quite a bang."


blogules 2010

* "Palin to Join Fox News as Contributor" (Fox News 20100111)

Red blogule to neolibs

(...) A radical counterforce to neocons is gaining momentum across the world, leveraging on Bush's extreme stance and on the popularity of "alternative" themes (no to total deregulation / free market, no to war, no to polluters, no to neocons...) to recruit beyond the traditional extreme left side of the spectrum. Among them, (not always former) Troskyists have a knack for infiltrating the administrations and the youth.
The French press is noticing an infiltration of education by radical "altermondialists" (in today's Le Figaro "Enquête : comment ATTAC infiltre l'école" ). ATTAC are known for supporting the so called "Tobin tax", riots during G8 summits, or the NO vote to the European constitution. There is a fierce debate within the movement : we are acting like a political party, shall we turn into one and nominate a candidate for the 2007 presidential elections ? This could mean the implosion of the socialist party.
An interesting phenomenon is the way these radicals deal with the "weaker" ones, very similar to the high pressure / terror put by hawks on potential doves : if you don't agree with us you are with them, and thus you are a fascist.
What I feared is happening : the extremes feeding each other, the moderates crushed in between, and radicalism getting overall mainstream.
As I see it, Howard Dean seems to extend towards the center right instead of locking the far left (see Newsweek Intl's article on abortion : "A Case of Roh vs. Reality" ). I don't know how long it will take for the two-party system to implode, but it seems to be well protected by the shortness of mandates (4 years).
SM on disinfopedia

White blogule to Yee-haoo! Mail

This time, Howard Dean's spam got all my attention : "I agree with George Bush" is not precisely the kind of title you would expect from this Democratic National Committee Chairman. The e-mail was worth the click, thanks to this interesting quote : "Even though I'm a tranquil guy now at this stage of my life, I have nothing but contempt and anger for those who betray the trust by exposing the name of our sources. They are, in my view, the most insidious of traitors." (speech given by George W. Bush on April 26, 1999).
I'm not proud of revealing the source of this quote but I love the idea : Karl Rove as the traitor and NYT's Judith Miller as the hero.

Red Blogule to JFK - Out of the blue(s) ?

I read "The Speech the President Should Give" by John F. Kerry in the NY Times dated 20050628. Including the laconic footer "John F. Kerry is a Democratic senator from Massachusetts".
Not as thrilling as "I was a teenage mutant presidential candidate", but better than "John Edwards is a former North Carolina senator and now a sorry podcaster (does One America Committee have more than one member ?)".
The said speech doesn't bring any news but the fact Senator Kerry is still alive and not kept hostage in a dark Abu Ghraib / Gitmo / Congress cell. Yet the torture must have been intense : being deprived of media exposure for over half a year can drive any warrior insane. But Senator Kerry is not insane. Just unlucky enough to have faced Karl Rove at his best - that is at his worst.
In the meanwhile, my Yee-haaoo! Mail box got saturated by Howard Dean's deep thoughts. The laxative kind you got for attending the second part of Saturday Night Live. Only not as funny.
In the meanwhile, Hillary tries to raise other things than eyebrows in front of her latest hairdo.
In the meanwhile, Barack does his job and listens to the next plans of the Architect for Illinois.

Red blogule to the Clintonian Republic - Spamilial planning

3 mails in one day from the DNC... are the Dems that desperate ? And I still have to receive Howard Dean's greetings. Obviously, "Yee-haa" scared the Clintons so badly they had to attack first : Hillary ignites a motion to secure the ballot system so that "every vote counts" - a great initiative launched with her dear friend McAuliffe but why announce it the very day the minority leaders sends his farewell note ? And between both mails Billy manages to release his own message : come visit my library and help me fight AIDS across the globe. Here again, a noble crusade and a nice reminder weeks after the inauguration of the Presidential Library. But the royal couple had to communicate today : "hey guys, we now the crazy boy from Vermont is taking over, but this remains our party and we're still the front runners for 2008 - besides we don't know if the new leader will let us use this channel for our personal messages".
Washing your laundry in public seems the latest reality TV / reality spam trend. That's how modern and developped countries proceed. Poor Togo relies on foreign news providers to relate the familial succession matters, changes in constitution included. Great Britain may be developped but not modern yet. Imagine receiving your Buckingham palace mail newsreel : in the morning a mail from Harry ("Save on drugs : get rid of hangovers and other nuisances"), at noon Charles' delivery ("Petition : support the institution of marriage in the U.K."), and in the evening Camellia's first mail ("Fight the blues with the blue pill : cheaper viagra now"). Pathetic.