2012 Mitt Romlympics

Mitt Romney brought back a couple of titles from his overseas tour:
- from London, a Gold Medal in Nosediving followed by a Gold Medal in Backpedalling
- from Israel, a Gold Medal in Bootlicking
- for good measure, his aide added more gold from Poland (Short Range Insult Shooting)

As if the guy needed more gold. You'd expect him to excel in Sailing or Polo, but he's even better at Artistic Gymnastics:
- Floor exercise (undefeated champion, great master of flip-flop and foot-in-mouth)
- High Bar (his income bracket)
- Parallel Bars (with a weakness for the kind that vertically cross a big fat "S") - Still Rings (after all these years, they never left Mitt's and Ann's fingers - and all other rings are safely kept in the next apparatus)
- Vault (main stashes in Switzerland, Cayman Islands)
- Pommel Horse (Romney's whole universe revolves around the only part of him that never changes and never moves: you could rodeo on his hairdo, not one hair would break ranks)

The only thing missing is a record or two, but the ones from Bain and Salt Lake City have either disapeared or been destroyed, and his tax returns are far from telling the whole story. Furthermore, Romney's main achievements remain tainted, since he openly abused dubious performance-enhancing methods to optimize returns on investment.

Anyway, according to this great expert in Olympinomics, "the most important thing is not winning but taking shares".

blogules 2012
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