Romney's crash course 101

Mitt Romney? Even more amazing than Felix Baumgartner: he managed to stop his free fall in the polls, and yet he keeps breaking the unsound barrier !

Red Bulls..t approves his message: "Who cares if the U.S. budget crashes? I've got my golden parachutes!"

Don't worry about Romney when he crashes. Do worry about the kind of Supreme Justices Paul Ryan would pick afterwards.


blogules 2012
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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PS: say Barack, if Mitt dares raise the apology / foreign policy issues again at tonight's debate, remind him about his diplomatic fiasco last summer in Europe.

Mitt's Kill Big Bird Moment

Barack Obama is a nice guy. He debated with Mitt Romney like he would handle any topic: respecting the other party, focusing on solutions for the common good.

Today, the POTUS forgot he was in a Presidential debate, that the aim was not to convince Romney but to convince US voters. And while he focused on issues and sense, Mitt Romney was the only one campaigning, without opposition. Obama won the rational debate, Romney the political one, the one that matters.

And it doesn't matter if Obama talked more (don't expect the Jim Lehrer kind of debate animation from Candy Crowley). Romney was allowed to play his role of the day.

Doctor Mitt the debater destroyed all the arguments of Mister Romney the candidate because that's what voters want to hear, not his embarrassing - and theoretically off the record - briefs at fundraisers. Heck. Obama was almost happy to have for once a Republican on his side.



John and Jane Smith probably didn't notice the fact that Romney kept hammering what he wouldn't do as a President (the opposite of what he'd always said he would do until then), but never specified what he would do. What they heard what a well prepped candidate who tuned his voice to Reagan level, loaded his speech with encounters with actual human beings he met in his spin doctors' dreams, a man who seemed to know his priorities even if he used the same "that's number one" mantra for every issue.

I still don't have any clue about Romney's plan. Scratch that. Tie the dog to the car's rooftop, kill Big Bird, it's coming in slow motion, but I start seeing some pattern. Zoophobia?

Grey, tired, elsewhere, Obama didn't fight. And did Romney offer him occasions to get beaten? You betcha: when he said "high income people are doing fine", when he said he had no idea about overseas tax breaks, he the outsourcer, he of the accounts in 30 tax havens... un-be-lie-va-ble.



Who trained Obama for the debates? John Kerry played Mitt's role. I love this guy*, but precisely, as I was watching this debate, it seemed like Kerry-GWB redux, the sincere guy winning in substance, the fake one winning in image. The difference? Polls showed that Kerry won the debates, and here (according to a CNN flash poll before the usual spin room), Romney won not only very easily overall by two to one, but on every single issue.

Romney aides must be wetting their pants right now, and I hope independent voters won't get fooled again.

I cannot imagine the same scenario for Debate II. Barack Obama will have to show some teeth, and expose the Cayman behind Doctor Mitt.

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* again, what a speech at the 2012 DNC (see "Bubba Clinton rocks DNC 2012: GOP Unity My Ass!")

Video: "Mitt Romney Style", after PSY's Gangnam Style. If you know Seoul a bit, it can't get Gangnamier than this

"We almost didn't get off the ground", Mitt?

"So we started a new business called Bain Capital (…). We almost didn't get off the ground." - Mitt ROMNEY 2012 RNC

"We almost didn't get off the ground"?!? It's your "2 guys in a garage" start-up fable that doesn't fly, Mitt.

In the above picture: Raiders of the Lost Tax Returns

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9/11: What Would Mitt Do? (George W. Bush)

11 years to this day, George W. Bush read "My Pet Goat". "What would Mitt do? Tie the goat to the roof of his car?"

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The Commander In Chief Has Spoken

I won't be cruel enough to compare DNC 2012 and RNC 2012... Scratch that. I mean. Who could decently resist the urge?

The only speech we remember from Tampa is Clint Eastwood's "Clumsy Harry" flop, and I can't count the stellar performances I've seen in Charlotte over the past three nights. Light years ahead of the Tampa duds.

What better answer to Fading Star Shooter Clint Eastwood than Recovering Gabrielle Giffords? Gaby wasn't stellar, simply radiating. Not decomposing side by side with an empty chair, but proudly looking forward, standing in front of a US flag. Gaby went ahead and made our day very very special.

Of course, this being the DEMOCRATIC party, a mirror to the great American rainbow, Montana Governor Brian Schweitzer had to stick to his guns just like, the previous night*, Sister Simone Campbell stuck to her 'pro-life stance'. And of course, Schweitzer, who knows Mitt Romney and business far to well to vote Republican, was not aired by FoxNews. What I didn't expect was CNN cutting Charlie Crist in the middle of his speech.

I think Barack Obama gave the greatest speech any human being could give under the circumstances, but if I were to pick the best performance of this great convention, I'd vote Michelle Obama, with John Kerry a not so distant second.

Sorry Bill. I loved the way you tippergored Barack while Hillary was in Noncharlottistan, but John Kerry was much more presidential than you. And he didn't stretch his talk beyond the essential: every single word, every single sentence connected. Timeless yet timely common sense, wisdom, vision... If Kerry was not a great campaigner, he would have been one of the greatest POTUS in History. Actually, I wonder if I haven't already seen his face on a US bank note.

The way President Kerry dismembered President Romney... splendid. Yes, that was an easy task: "I, Romnbot"** isn't assembled yet. Yes, he didn't miss the opportunity to expose the actual flip-flopper. But as the - I hope - next Secretary of State, John Kerry also exposed Mitt Romney as the worst possible world leader, nailing him with a delicious "before you debate Barack Obama on foreign policy, you better finish the debate with yourself". Ouch.

Romney never stood the comparison with Obama, Biden, Kerry, Clinton, or even that empty chair. Even Jill Biden outshone any GOP speaker. A full time teacher, a military mom, and the thing that both Obamas and both Bidens have that the Romneys and Ryans lack: sincerity in the eyes. With friends like Michelle Obama, Bill Clinton, John Kerry, or Joe Biden, Barack Obama will move more mountains. Mitt Romney looked everyday smaller, more lonely. Someone smoke him out of the hole he dug himself into before November 6!

With that unique smile of his, Joe Biden showed how Barack Obama decided to take the high way instead of Romney's "Bain way". He highlighted equal access, stakeholders, values, instead of inequities and shareholder value. And confirmed the record: GM alive, Bin Laden dead.

Romney's record? An old, scratched LP playing the same negative tune on and on, never moving to a new plane, never even disclosing a plan. America doesn't need negative vibes right now, "it has never, never, ever, been a good bet to bet against the American people", and "we have no intention of downsizing the American Dream".

The Romney campaign communique following the DNC summed up the GOP's lack of ideas and vision. It could have been written before the convention: "Tonight President Obama laid out the choice in this election, making the case for more of the same policies that haven't worked for the past four years. He offered more promises, but he hasn’t kept the promises he made four years ago. Americans will hold President Obama accountable for his record – they know they’re not better off and that it’s time to change direction. Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan will restore America’s promise and deliver a better future for our country."

And after watching both conventions, how can one possibly hesitate between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney to lead the world? How can one possibly put Paul Ryan in Biden's seat behind the POTUS for Romney's State of the Disunion Address? In a position to potentially nominate the next Supreme Justice?

America needs love, good vibes. Look at Joe and Jill, look how Michelle Obama introduced her lover, outhugging Bill Clinton in a warm embrace.

America needs self confidence. Look at Obama talk about the return of "Made in America" when "No-Tax-Return" Mitt Romney plays it "Hidden in Caymans". Look at this Commander in Chief mocking at the Gaffer in Chief's foreign politic antics in London.

Barack Obama couldn't propose the same kind of speech as four years ago. He had to go down from the Olymp of timeless principles to concrete, day to day issues, and he did it efficiently and gracefully. But he didn't lose his mojo nor his vision of History, and he presidentially restored citizenship as a core value.

From Day 1***, this Convention has been all about Unity in diversity and adversity. And united, all Democrats stood for democracy.

And at the end of it all, Barack Obama delivered an inspiring acceptance speech, boosting the whole country forward, where Mitt Romney only read a boring denial script, barely comforting Bain investors.

Take that, Mitt: Barack is The President. And THE. Chief. Executive. Officer. 

blogules 2012
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* see "Bubba Clinton rocks DNC 2012: GOP Unity My Ass!"
** see "I RomnBot (Meet Mitt)" *** "DNC 2012 Day 1: Come Together, Now"

Bubba Clinton rocks DNC 2012: GOP Unity My Ass!

The day the NRA and the AIPAC stop dictating political platforms, the USA might become an independent democracy.
 
Day 2 of DNC 2012 started in damage control mode: the Democratic platform had to mention God and Jerusalem to pass the theocratic cut. The POTUS didn't need to receive a 3 A.M. call from the AIPAC to sense the danger for November 6. You can count on conservative pundits to spin this non-event as a blahblahgate blown to biblical proportions, but the case got easily closed. For good measure, Madeleine Albright pinned a splendid "Pro-Israel" brooch on Obama's chest. 
 
And the incident proved that at least, the Democratic Party remains open for debate. Heck: Sister Simone Campbell was even allowed to deliver her "pro-life stance"! And she didn't crucify Romney just to redeem herself or simply because he's a Mormon. 
 

 
Day 2 of DNC 2012 soon switched back to full groovy mode. The floor fretted at the news that Barack would meet Bubba on stage later in the night, and everybody waited for something special from Liz Warren.
 
Meanwhile, with only a few VIPs on stage to hammer the messages (in substance: if Barack Obama stands for working people in the US, Mitt Romney rather watches his own money work in the Caymans), CNN served slices of Hillary to fill the blanks. The Secretary of State had seeked refuge in NonCharlottistan during the Convention, and I bet John Kerry will succeed her for Obama Season V, but when she was abruptly asked how she judged her "boss", she answered with one of the sweetest compliments she ever made to her 2008 rival. Amazing "grace" indeed.
 
Meanwhile, still, John King delt his full deck of maps. I'm pretty sure that when he sleeps, John King sees red and blue county maps. Grey ones when he's got a nightmare. And when he can't fall asleep? He probably recounts Florida 2000 ballots.

Eventually, we didn't have to wait long for great moments. Sandra Fluke did more than deliver a pro-choice speech. She brought down the house and for that, she didn't even have to raise her voice. Sandra Fluke simply rose and use her voice, exactly what conservatives don't like in a woman.

At the beginning of Elizabeth Warren's "warm up act for President Clinton", I confess I thought she too needed a warm up act. Then she started addressing the issues that count, and my oh my, if independent voters listen to her speech, they'll instantly tear down the GOP ballot. Warren stood for all humans against the inhuman program of Romney-Ryan. The best answer to Mitt's infamous "corporations are people".

Bill Clinton trumpeted Barack Obama's second term from Yesterday's Gone to Forward Folks. Not as perfect as Michelle Obama yesterday (Bubba can be too talkative and professoral), but he won her heart by offering his best support to the "man who had the good sense to marry" her. What a one man show! Simply unstoppable. Barack ? "A man cool on the outside but burning for America on the inside". The RNC 2012? In "an alternative universe". Correct location, Bill. And we're not even mentioning Romney's "moral compass", more than questioned by Randy Johnson, a former Bain employee, a couple of hours earlier. By the way, Mitt: Joe Biden's seat is not empty, but all others are. For the standing ovation in his honor, courtesy POTUS #42.
 
Professor Bill Clinton slammed Mitt Romney: the wannabe should learn arithmetic before giving lessons on budget. And even on jobs. America is better off without Republicans who cost her one million jobs by crippling the Congress, and of course GM is better off without Romney in the driving seat. Paul Ryan? It takes an Irishman to know one, it takes a saxophonist to know brass, and "it takes some brass to attack a guy for doing what you did". Struck out, the rookie.

Not only did Bill deliver an even better speech than he would have for himself, but this final, powerful Clinton-Obama embrace? You couldn't find a more perfect union at work.

Cruel comparison with that cold reunion of losers right after Ryan's acceptance speech... Last time Mitt Romney hugged someone so hard, nine month later Ann had their last kid.

 
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* see "DNC 2012 Day 1: Come Together, Now"

DNC 2012 Day 1: Come Together, Now

If the 2012 Republican National Convention was all about getting at Obama and at each other's throats*, the 2012 Democratic National Convention reminded us from Day 1 the origin of the word "convention": literally "coming together".

Everybody is behind President Barack Obama, and everybody shares the same positive vision of America as a land open to opportunities, not a land confiscated by opportunists. Everybody looks forward with a man who is proud of his record and doesn't try to hide it.

The thing is that America's better off than when Obama took office except politically, and precisely because of the GOP's deliberate sabotage and systematic obstrusive tactics. RNC 2012 only highlighted internal wars, dogding key issues? DNC 2012 resolutely faced Afghanistan, war, and veteran issues, and Tammy Duckworth stood in front of Romney Duckforcover like a Brave in front of a Dodger.

Stacey Lihn also stood in front of Romney like a brave for her daughter Zoe, who owes her life to Obamacare and may lose it if Mitt were elected. Obama cares for you, Zoe. For Romney you're just a burden, some distant statistics. And each time Republicans talk against Obamacare, they point out the fact that Obama cares, and that Romney doesn't, that he simply doesn't get it.

Clint Eastwood couldn't find his words while talking to an empty chair? Ted K. slammed Mitt's Ks from his grave (Deval Patrick, Rommney's successor as Massachusetts Governor wrapped the Boston sandwich).

I'm glad I switched to CNN for the DNC: I could watch Ted Strickland's awesome one man show. Towards the end, I quickly zapped to check that FoxNews censored him in order to protect "Romney the outsourcing pioneer"... and that they aired boring Kathleen Sebelius instead. Thanks to CNN, I could bump into past and future comets, from Mike Dukakis to Kamala Harris.

I'm not always a fan of Rahm Emanuel, but I liked the way he summed-up Obama's score: General Motors alive, Bin Laden dead. Romney prefers General Motors dead and Bain Capital alive. GOP tried to sell Romney-Obama as Reagan-Carter*, but Mitt's not even Reagan's empty chair, and Barack and Michelle's siblings (Maya Soetoro-Ng & Craig Robinson) are leagues over Billy Carter!

Following Martin O'Malley's boring speach, Joaquin Castro woke up the audience, and Julian Castro rocked the house, nailing Mitt "flip-flop" Romney with the sweetest "actually..."

Michelle Obama clearly won the day. She's not just a great First Lady and Mom in Chief, but a wise politician and a fantastic leader. Where Ann Romney read a script and played a role*, Michelle Obama spoke her mind out, the most sincere and convincing way. She's the one who fights against obesity, not for fat profiteers. She's the one who stands for the 1% who matter: those defending the nation, not those dodging taxes and military duties. And she's the one who cleaned the White House after 2010, and put Obama back on tracks for 2012. Tonight, Michelle Obama connected, and smacked America's most powerful home run. Over the fence, beyond all divisions. The First Lady.

Truth is: Obamas care, Romney scares.

Come together, now.

blogules 2012
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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* see "Total Un-Recall: RNC 2012 In Denial, Welcome to Tampa, FL (Fantasy Land)", followed by "Lies, damned lies, and RNCs" and "Romney's big night? A bitter sleeping pill"

Romney's big night? A bitter sleeping pill

At long last! Surviving three long days of 2012 RNC on FoxNews was already a challenge, but this last one... To tell you the level of torture: even Dick Cheney skipped it, and only "Turd Blossom" Karl Rove seemed to enjoy the stench.

Consider this:

- The moto of the day: painting Obama as Carter, Romney as Reagan. But on this RNC propaganda video of Reagan, you see the difference with Romney. Romney's name may start the same way as Reagan's, all you can see is the rhyme with money.

- Newt and Callista Gingrich reciting a soulless script with the enthusiasm of Christopher Lee snoring in his coffin.

- Jeb Bush talked about a better, fairer education system for America, and in the same breath invited on stage Sean Duffy, a teacher who judges other teachers, and qualifies them as "good" or "bad". Jeb's ideas may sound nice, his vision of "higher learning" ended up in ballot fixing, and the "equal access" he's been promoting the most efficiently is the equal access to guns. When Jeb Bush makes a comparison between diversity in milk and education, he lists 'milk that doesn't even have milk in it': I presume he wants to see Intelligent Design taught in school, that's 'pseudo-science that doesn't even have science in it'.

- After that? Rick Perry spinning weather vane Romney: oops, a whirlwind of insHannity.

- US Olympians worshipping Saint Mitt, He Who Saved the IOC. Next thing we know: Romney will be walking on water (flic, floc, flip, flop). Only on FoxNews: "It doesn't get any more American than that" (Nikki Haley about US Olympians). Eluding taxes in the Cayman Islands maybe?

- Saint Sarah Palin playing the 2008 martyr of unfair attacks by the Democrats. The Palinism of the day? "Reverse discrimination stuff", about these Dems who shamelessly display African-American or Latino speakers during their conventions for electoral purposes (indeed, no decent GOP member would ever consider such an infamy).

- Sean Hannity mentioning "false narrative". Not about the 2012 Republican National Convention, but about the Democratic campaigns unveiling the true Mitt Romney.

- A video of Mitt Romney talking about his dad. "He was immovable". Obviously the quality skipped the next generation. The only moving moment was the testimony of people who were visited by Mitt when they were in despair, but that's only a sign of good marketing know-how from a profesionnal missionary.

- Clint Eastwood tried to make Romney's day, and instead made an embarrassment of himself. His apparition had something reaganesque to it: after all, Clint brought the only star power this dullest convention in ages would ever see. But he struggled with words, remembering only a few good punchlines in an inarticulate and confuse speech. Someone had to remind him to mention Romney. Clint refused, before realizing where he was. He eventually fired "a businessman, a stellar businessman", and "let'im go". Let'im go, really. Someone, have mercy: bring a wheelchair for poor ole Clint. Please.

- After that, we had to watch Marco Rubio deliver his address to a bay of P.I.G.s. Maybe this young man needs to learn that the USA are supposed to be a democracy, not a theocracy. Rubio pitched Romney so poorly the old man reached first base before he even threw the ball. - It was supposed to be his day, and Mitt Romney stretched his apparition to the fullest as well as to the foolest. His handshaking session across the floor was an embarrassing scene where a jimcarreyshy Tin Woodman struggled to make natural contact with actual human beings. This guy's obviously not used to shaking hands without signing a contract right after.

- After robotting his way up the Calvary, Mitt read his prompt with a body language that screamed "get me out of here". Progressively, the carfully crafted script almost brought some humanity, and even actual emotion on this deadpan comedian's face, but he had to deliver at that precise moment his ultraconservative vision of women as mere mothers and housewives. Right there, Mitt lost for good the votes of independent women. Who needs a POTUS stuck in the 1950s with a vision from the XIXth century? Romney's speech was only inspiring to Bain Capital owners. It was so boring I felt like turning off the TV, until I remembered this guy was already completely disconnected.

- In the end, Mitt Romney was rescued by a sea of fellow helium balloons on stage. Paul Ryan threw in a couple of tea bags before both perfect families reunited in the usual final tableau.

Hey, Republicans, sorry to tell you that but this is not a remake of Carter-Reagan, folks: you're in for Obama-Biden vs Bob Dole-Dan Quayle, and for Obama 2012 vs Romney 1812.

blogules 2012
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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* see "Total Un-Recall: RNC 2012 In Denial, Welcome to Tampa, FL (Fantasy Land)", followed by "Lies, damned lies, and RNCs"

Lies, damned lies, and RNCs

Another marvelous day in Tampa, Fantasy Land*.

The doomed project of "humanizing" GOP candidate "I, RomnBot" continues with an incredible cast of losers:

- Mitch McConnell, a poster child for the GOP's obstructiveness in DC, criticizing the Democrats for being divisive

- Rand Paul, undeterred by the video eulogy for his not-dead-yet dad (persona non grata in the fakely harmonious reunion), delivered a more or less edulcorated version of the familial mantra, punctuated by one or two mentions of the official candidate

- John McCain, who wished he came "under other circumstances", completed the consistent "support" of an utterly divided party to an utterly flip-flop candidate: Rand Paul asked for less defense? John McCain asked for more defense, simple as that. Republicans, when Romney adresses RNC 2016, you'll feel as relieved he wasn't elected as you are now listening to this guy.

- Bobby Jindal didn't show up thanks to Hurricane Isaac, the perfect alibi to skip the embarrassing display of hypocrisy and denial.

- Rob Portman said something true: "blaming others doesn't qualify as a plan". Right. That's why the GOP doesn't qualify as a ruling party. He went on to tell a "classic American story", using his dad's entrepreneur aura for political purposes just like Mitt. Who built it? Not you guys.

- Tim Pawlenty brought tears to my face. This man is so funnily pathetic. No one laughed when he criticized Obama for being the POTUS who spends most time on holidays and golf: all other Republicans have an elephant memory long enough to remember George W. Bush. Actually, Dubya and 41 showed up on the screen. They didn't want to be associated with this comedy and just chatted by the green, remembering the good old days when they roamed the Oval Office.

- A Mike Huckabee look-alike hijacked the stage, and for one moment, I almost believed it was the same guy who kept bashing Mitt Romney on FoxNews.

- Then came Condescending Rice. The woman who contributed to the worst foreign affair messes in US history dared give a few lessons to a man who received a Nobel Peace Prize for restoring America's credibility worldwide, and got rid of Bin Laden and Gaddafi without losing one soldier. Condi Rice also dared bring up 9/11 and the way true leaders should react to crisis: by reading "My Pet Goat"? She went on and dared speak about how we should stand up against tyrants, she who sat while playing the piano for Vladimir Putin... Shameless, and proud of it.

- I'm glad Susana Martinez wasn't the last speaker tonight: by many standards, she was the ideal running mate for Romney. But by saying "no more barriers", she did nothing less than advertise for Obama's immigration policies and against Romney's program. The thing is, as soon as someone starts saying something sensible in this convention, it always sounds like an echo to the Obama-Biden campaign, and a condemnation of the Romney-Ryan ticket.

- If Paul Ryan's speech sounds familiar, that's because it was written by the same guy who carved those of Sarah Palin, Dick Cheney, and Dan Quayle, the man I keep seeing each time Ryan appears in public. Some guy may look likeable and full of humor, so was George W. Bush, also a man with more than radical and dangerous visions. Like all others, Paul Ryan lied. And I still can't believe how he dared bring up GM against Obama. Maybe he didn't vet his running mate carefully enough. Worse: the factory he said closed after Obama pledged to save it? It went down under Dubya's watch.

This convention is as outrageous as pathetic. At least, before, enemies showed up in person. Even McCain claimed 99% of the delegates in the end (only 90% for Romney).

Tomorrow, Newt Gingrich will show up in person. He wasn't allowed a prime time slot of course. But I can't wait to read between his acid lines.

Mitt Romney will close the farce. After Marco Rubio, probably his second choice if Ryan hadn't pass the cut. Not as good an orator as the Wisconsin representative, but precisely: Romney is such a downer, the damage will already be half done.

Rubio's job will be to sell Romney as a Tea Party compatible product, and maybe to to prepare the audience for another hurricane: his former rival for Florida Charlie Crist will speak at the Democratic National Convention.

So far, he's been the only (former) Republican to tell the truth: "An element of (the) party has pitched so far to the extreme right on issues important to women, immigrants, seniors and students that they've proven incapable of governing for the people".


blogules 2012
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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* see "Total Un-Recall: RNC 2012 In Denial, Welcome to Tampa, FL (Fantasy Land)" and "Attack of the GOP First Lady Wannabe clones"

Attack of the GOP First Lady Wannabe clones

Ann Romney, Callista Gingrich, Cindy McCain, Sarah McCain, Condoleeza Bush... and I spared you Elizabeth Dole.

blogules 2012
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