Showing posts with label Rudolf Giuliani. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rudolf Giuliani. Show all posts

20180430

Donald Trump: "I never lie, I just invent my own truth"

blogules: 'Thank you for accepting this interview in your Mar-a-Lago lair.'
Donald J. Trump: 'You know I'm getting tired of Fox News, and I can't accept interviews with fake news anymore. I totally trust your self-proclaimed Weapons of Mass Disinformation, and I liked your one-on-ones with KIM Jong-un* or Macron** for your Agence Fausse Presse.'
b: 'You spend between one quarter and one third of your time in this Florida White House. Don't you like the original?'
DJT: 'Problem is I don't own 1600 Penn Ave yet. What I can do is transform this place into a profitable landmark. Fees have already tripled, we overcharge taxpayers tens of millions for security detail, and people will pay fortunes to visit Mar-a-Lago after 2036.'
b: 'Why 2036? You expect to die when you're 90?'
DJT: 'Of course not, I'm in an amazing shape, and will live longer than 250 years, according to my physicians Ronnie Jackson and Harold Bornstein, who signed the diagnostics I dictated them. I simply plan to retire after my second series of two mandates but for that, Mike Pence will have to pull me a Medvedev between 2024 and 2028.'
b: 'Why not change the Constitution to pull us a XI Jinping instead, and become president for life? Justices Kennedy and Ginsburg may not even survive your first term.'
DJT: 'I like your way of thinking. Indeed, we're doing a tremendous job at destroying US institutions, and justice is where we've been the most efficient so far.'
b: 'If it weren't for that Russia Probe...'
DJT: 'Total witch hunt. There's no collusion, all the rumors are fake, the ties between Manafort and Russia, Flynn and Putin, my whole campaign team and Sergei Kislyak, me and the Russian mafia...'
b: 'First time I hear about that last one.'
DJT: 'Vladimir's mole at the New York Times thinks they'll publish a scoop pretty soon about it, but that's a complete fabrication. Something to do with real estate, which is impossible: I've never been into this business.'
b: 'Come on, that's an outrageous lie.'
DJT: 'I never lie, I just invent my own truth. You know, something I learned from Dr Norman Vincent Peale is that if you don't like facts, you just have to repeat to yourself what you want to hear, and you soon believe it completely. I would pass all lie detector tests with flying colors. I know I would, because I practice every day for the moment Robert Mueller calls me in.'
b: 'I noticed behind your desk this original Time Magazine cover, featuring you as Man Of The Year for winning the 2018 Nobel Peace Prize. Isn't that a bit too much?'
DJT: 'Yuge, but I'm bigger than truth. And I deserve these awards, just like I deserved each and every one of my Academy Awards - by the way my favorite is for 'Titanic', an epic about the GOP. See what I've achieved with North Korea?'
b: 'Well you accepted the dictator's invitation, which all your predecessors refused, and by doing so, you helped KIM Jong-un save his own bacon, get a lifeline from XI.'
DJT: 'Maybe, but I scared him big time. Hell, I scare everybody. Believe me, I'd do anything to get this Nobel Peace Price - I'd nuke the hell out of Iran, Japan, you name it.'
b: 'Japan is a US ally...'
DJT: '... and Shinzo is a great guy. We have many Nazi friends in common, and he knows how to lose gracefully when we play golf. But Japan is cheating us bigly with trade. They don't buy as many US cars as we buy Japanese cars.'
b: 'But many of these Japanese cars are made in the US, and American cars are not competitive in quality and design.'
DJT: 'I know, that's why all my Trump cars are made in China. But Vlad asked me to demolish all international treaties. Plus my voters love to see me whack a mole everyday, and hear them scream.'
b: 'Do you think you can win again in 2020?'
DJT: 'Of course I will. Steve Bannon and Cambridge Analytica are still helping me, and I instructed my administration to do nothing to prevent Vladimir from further screwing our system. Even if they didn't need to be briefed, because they already receive monthly payments from Moscow, who as you can imagine has dirt on many members of Congress.'
b: 'So no collusion, right?'
DJT: 'No collusion whatsoever between me and American values. I'm here to destroy this nation, and Make Amerika Great Again, so sue me.'
b: 'If I do, who'll represent you, now that Michael Cohen is in trouble?'
DJT: 'Rudy Giuliani would take a bullet for me. Michael Cohen said he would, but now I'm not so sure. Anyway if Mike flips, I'll tweet him to death - that's what I call flipping the bird. And if tweets are not enough, our old mobster friends will carve nice concrete shoes for him to fertilize the Hudson River along with Jimmy Hoffa.'
b: 'Your friends are falling one by one around you, and most of the time you're the one pulling the trigger. How long can you keep that pace?'
DJT: 'You'd be surprised to see how many people are willing to experience their 15 minutes of shame. I already fished scores of them from the worst trashcans, and you haven't seen the bottom of it.'
b: 'So far, we've seen quite a few bottoms, but no swamp draining.'
DJT: 'Come on - crazy Stormy Daniels, phony Karen McDougal, that's ridiculous. Me having an affair with a porn star or a Playmate, can you imagine that?'
b: 'As much as it makes me nauseous, I can: you were a regular at Heffner's Playboy Mansion, and even made a cameo in a soft porn movie.'
DJT: 'That was long before I became Evangelical, and met Mike Pence. You know, this guy is such a religious fanatic that he already experienced a third coming.'
b: 'Actually, your Veep does have three kids.'
DJT: 'And they're smart kids. Of course not as smart as mine. My kids inherited my stable genius genes, and like me, went to nice schools because their father was smart enough to make nice gifts to nice schools.'
b: 'Your father made your own career possible with his money and connections. You couldn't have succeeded in New York real estate all by yourself.'
DJT: 'Everybody says I'm a genius in real estate, one like the world has never seen before.'
b: 'But five minutes ago, you said you'd never been in that business. And I noticed that you even tweeted it for good measure.'
DJT: 'That's a hoax. The only real estate project I'm interested in is The Wall.'
b: 'Will it ever be erected?'
DJT: 'Already done, look at these pictures.'
b: '... Impressive... Looks like a 3,000 mile long Mt Rushmore with your face reproduced a billion times on it. How come no one has ever seen it?'
DJT: 'There was a fantastic article about it in the National Enquirer, by the great John Barron.'
b: 'Isn't John Barron your alias when you call the media?' 
DJT: 'John is not that great, but we get well together. Me, I never call the media. Frankly? I never watch the media, they're all fake news.'
b: 'And you don't attend White House Correspondents' Dinners.'
DJT: 'Did you see that nasty woman on stage? Michelle Wolf? I was watching her...'
b: 'Because you never watch the media.'
DJT: '... and I asked myself if Hillary were president - by the way she's not because I won the unwinnable election, remember how awesome that was? - if Crooked Hillary were president, would this Wolf bite that nastily?'
b: 'I think, for starters, that President Clinton would have had the guts to attend the meeting, and as usual, to face her critics. And that she would have laughed her best Kate McKinnon laughter while swallowing the bitter pill.'
DJT: 'She's a loser. She enjoys it. You know, the WHCD I went to? Barack Obama and Seth Meyers were so nasty to me, I promised never to get back. Obama can be very nasty. Did you know that he fired Comey?'
b: 'What? You fired James Comey!'
DJT: 'Wrong. I never fire anybody. I pretended to during 'The Apprentice', just like I pretended to be a businessman, but the fact is that in real life, I don't know much about business, and I can't tell anyone 'you're fired'. I always do it by proxy, or via tweet, or I bully the guy until he resigns.'
b: 'Deep down, you're a coward.'
DJT: 'If I'm a coward, what does that make of Republicans supposed to guarantee checks and balances in this country?'
'Regardless of how Kim Jong-un plays Moon Jae-in, MJI sure knows how to play Trump (sce CNN):' (20180429 - twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/990464140513689600)


blogules 2018
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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* "Exclusive interview with KIM Jong-un - Season III" (March 2018), "EXCLUSIVE-Second interview with KIM Jong-un" (February 2017), "Exclusive interview with KIM Jong-un" (December 2013)
** voir "Macron en mode G.I." (April 2018)

20141007

Exclusive Transcripts From Clinton Presidential Records

The Clinton Presidential Center will soon release new batches of Presidential Records. Here's an exclusive preview, for your eyes only - transcripts from phone conversation recorded during his last year at the White House (at this stage, we can't tell "final year" since Bubba may come back as the First Gentleman):

Conversation with First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton:
- "No Hillary, that's not what you think. I didn't inhale her perfume."

Conversation with Vice President Al Gore:
- "Sure you don't want my advice? To block Bill Bradley, I'd hire The Shaq. And for your running mate, get yourself a Joe with a six-pack smile. Biden, not Lieberman. Just sayin', but mark my words."

Conversation with First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton:
- "Chappaqua sounds nice, but how will we pay for the house? We're already drowning under legal bills - and speaking of water, heard of any potential Whitewater scheme around?"

Conversation with Secretary of State Madeleine Albright:  
- "Don't be mad at me Mad, but I won't intervene in Sudan to get bin Laden. That country's so fragile it could break in two."

Conversation with Chief of Staff John Podesta:
- "What do you mean Hillary didn't like that intern? I checked her credentials and they look terrific: she not only worked for our D-Fla guy, but also wears D-Cup."

Conversation with President George Herbert Walker Bush:
- "Yes, I'll consider your request to pardon your son... but frankly, who cares if he drove under influence as a youngster? Dubya's already way out of his league as Governor of Texas, and it's not as if he were running for something really big, uh?"

Conversation with Vice President Al Gore:
- "No, Al, that's not what you think. I was not making a pass at Tipper, and we're not communicating through codes - don't tell me you also invented the telegraph."
 
Conversation with President Boris Yeltsin: 
- "No, Boris, I don't hate you - but you must understand that I can't join you for that vodka party in your dacha right now."

Conversation with First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton:
- "You don't have to worry about Rudi Giuliani anymore. And same thing about Chappaqua: Lawrence Summers and Alan Greenspan got me the best mortgage offer - they told me it was like Al's internet, a sure bet."

Conversation with Prime Minister Ehud Barak: 
- "What are you doing this July, Ehud? Fancy spending some time with friends in Camp David...? Who will come? Uh... some friends, you know, around a good barbecue - kosher, of course. Please bring your knife for the cake."

Conversation with President Yasser Arafat:
- "What are you doing this July, Yasser? Fancy some time with friends in Camp David...? Who will come? Uh... some friends, you know, around a good barbecue - halal, of course. Please bring your own territory."

Conversation with First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton:
- "No, that's not what you think. She was talking about my saxophone. I just told her to play our favorite song, you know? Fleetwood Mac's 'Don't Stop'..."

Conversation with McDonalds at 750 17th St NW:
- "Uh... three Extra Value Meals, please: one Double Quarter Pounder, and two Big Macs. With Coke, yes. Oooops wait a sec' - I almost forgot the girls: Hillary, Chelsea, what will that be for you?"


blogules 2014
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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20081113

GOP Primaries 2012 Kick-off - Charlie Crist's Second Coming

Iowa, get ready: the GOP pack is bracing itself for the 2012 Primaries.

John McCain ? declined. Sarah Palin ?
you betcha*. Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee ? still there. Rudi Giuliani ? already dead.

Not yet ? Whatever. He won't run in 2012. Neither the NY Marathon, nor the Big Race. Maybe a fever, after his yearly flu shot.

One week after Obama's victory, 3 players are exuding Prez ambitions from every pore (4 if you include Condi Rice, but that goes without saying) : Bobby Jindal, Charlie Crist, and Tim Pawlenty are already campaigning.

Crist did his best to save appearances in front of cameras during John McCain's doomed campaign. A second coming of Crist in 2010 would put Florida back on the GOP map ("wasn't me"), a failure would probably condemn him to retirement in Maine (I suggest home sharing with Stephen King : Charlie keeps his sun tan alive during the summer, Steve prevents his own old bag of bones from screaming durin' 'em long yankee winters, ayuh).

Tim Pawlenty could be the reformer this party needs, but does he have the strength to run the ultimate campaign ? Can he lead and set people in motion the way Obama did ? That remains to be seen.

Bobby Jindal remains the favorite for 2012 or 2016. Besides, Obama helped his cause by breaking the biggest glass ceilings : Jindal's first name is Hindi (Piyush), and his ears are ridiculously stuck to his skull.

Let's see how those 3 not-yet-candidates perform on the web :

CharlieCrist2012.com belongs to Joseph B Mizereck &
Associates, Inc. from Tallahassee, FL
Created on: 01-Jan-07 - Expires on:
01-Jan-10 -Last Updated on: 26-Sep-08
The domain is active (for advertising
purposes) and officially up for sale

Crist2012.com belongs to Chris Stavrianos from Chicago, IL
Created on: 27-Feb-08 - Expires on: 27-Feb-11 - Last Updated on: 14-Mar-08
The domain used to be active (with scary commercial content) and up for
sale.

CharlieCrist12.com and Crist12.com belong to Cadenza
Entertainment from Winter Park, FL
Created on: 30-Jan-08 - Expires on: 30-Jan-09 - Last Updated on:
30-Jan-08
Inactive (ads)

BobbyJindal2012.com belongs to Mark Fricker from Newton
Square, PA
Created on: 07-Feb-08 - Expires on: 08-Feb-09 - Last Updated on:
07-Feb-08

BobbyJindal12.com belongs to Rod Snyder from Naperville,
IL
Created on: 10-Oct-08 - Expires on - 10-Oct-13 - Last Updated on
12-Nov-08
Active (ads)

Jindal2012.com belongs to Peter Orvetti from Washington,
DC
Created on: 22-Oct-07 - Expires on 22-Oct-12 - Last Updated on: 20-Mar-08
Domain parked

Jindal12.com belongs to Brian Sabolich (Sabolich Realty)
Created on: 30-Aug-08 - Expires on: 30-Aug-09 - Last Updated on:
30-Aug-08
Domain parked.

TimPawlenty2012.com belongs to a more discreet
person
Registrant: Click Industries from Minneapolis, MN
Created on: 16-Jan-07 -
Expires on: 16-Jan-09 - Las Updated on: 17-Jan-08
Domain inactive

TimPawlenty12.com belongs to Kyle Sandstrom from Rochester,
MN
Created on: 30-Aug-08 - Expires on: 30-Aug-09 - Last Updated on:
30-Aug-08
Just registered page

Pawlenty2012.com and Pawlenty12.com belong to Michael
Deutsch, a MIT Alumni from Guttenberg, NJ
Created on: 03-Jan-08 - Expires on:
03-Jan-09 - Last Updated on: 01-May-08
Ads

Anyway, 12 or 16 suck compared to 00, 04, or 08. So forget about those. And "Smith2012" sounds too much web 1.0, XXth century deja vu.

CristforAmerica.com and PawlentyforAmerica.com are somehow "deja vu" too, but still available. Up to now.

JindalforAmerica.com has been booked for the long run (2016, an interesting date).
Registrant : Domain Discreet from Funchal, Portugal
Created on: 22-Sep-08 - Expires on: 22-Sep-16 - Last Updated on: 24-Sep-08

But by then, a web 3.0 candidate is likely to have come out of the blue... or even out of the red.

blogules 2009


* see "
Sarah Palin and the Segolene Royal Syndrome - The GOP on the same path as the French Socialist Party"

ADDENDUM 20100211

This post recently received a visit from an interesting URL : vpn.giulianipartners.com (74.9.69.162). Yup. That's from Rudy's headquarters in 5 Times Square New York, NY 10036-6527... Sorry lads if I gave you inaccurate news regarding your dear boss.

20080124

Bloomberg : it's the economy, stupid !




Copyright Stephane MOT 2008 - blogules.com

20080113

GOP : Time to Split

I warned Republican voters four years ago* : if Bush wins these elections, your party loses.
The divide seems everyday more obvious now, but the main decision remains to be taken : to separate US politics from religion.


As expected**, all 2008 candidates are compelled to prove how strong their belief is, and this sick competition turns into a caricature : Romney, faithful to his Mormon religion as well as to his wife, is criticized by a womanizer (Giuliani) and two more or less outspoken promoters of Intelligent Design (Huckabee and McCain - the latter even gave conferences at the infamous Liberty University and Discovery Institute***). It sounds almost normal to most Americans but this is not a political debate - at least not in a country supposed to be a model democracy.

It is time to make things clear to the audience at the National as well as at the International levels and to officialize the creation of The Theocratic Party. All candidates would then decide : do they put democracy and the republic first, or they believe politics should be ruled by religion ?

True democrats and true republicans will chose not to mix religion with politics. Those who want America to turn into a theocracy and away from its core values must be clear about it. They can keep competing on theological issues, but never more in the name of a Republican or a Democratic Party.

* see "
Red Blogule to the Bush system - Prevent a New War of Secession" (20041101)
** see "
Universal Declaration of Independence From Fundamentalism" (20070809)
*** if you didn't get the scoop from my French blogules ("
Bonne année 2009" - 20080102) : both are casting Bruce K. Chapman as their VP

20050221

Red blogule to the Red machine - The potential RNC tickets for 2008 :

Jeb Bush - John McCain
Rudolf Giuliani - Condoleeza Rice
Arnold Schwarzennegger - Buzz Lightyear
Ken Mehlman - Barbie
Billy Graham - Abu Masab Al Zarqawi
Dick Perle - Paul Wolfowitz
Alberto Gonzales - Hannibal Lecter
Dick Cheney - Dick Cheney
George Prescott Bush - Chelsea Clinton
Copyright Stephane MOT 2003-2023 Welcome to my personal portal : blogules - blogules (VF) - mot-bile - footlog - Seoul Village - footlog archives - blogules archives - blogules archives (VF) - dragedies - Little Shop of Errors - Citizen Came -La Ligue des Oublies - Stephanemot.com (old) - Stephanemot.com - Warning : Weapons of Mass Disinformation - Copyright Stephane MOT