Santa Miranda Rights

I decently can't write only about stupid politics this close to Christmas. Furthermore, I must write a short text about Xmas for a writers gathering in Seoul tomorrow... So here you go, fresh from the oven :

- "Don't play smart with me. It's already been a long bad night and I don't want to put a third person in jail on Christmas eve. Papers, please."
- "Told you : don't have any. And it's already been a long night for me too... but believe me, it's gonna be a really bad one if you put Santa Claus in jail."
- "Still sticking to that lame tune ? Sorry to tell you this but you don't exactly look like Santa to me... Jose Canseco, maybe ?"
- "What did you expect in Southern California ? An all whitechristmassy, Caucasian, Coca Cola Santa with a thick red coat and a huge beard ? And under the hood, Rudy the red-nosed plug ? Ho Ho Ho !"
- "Now that you mention it, I'd like to have a peek there as well : your semi made my radar-gun sing the heck of a Christmas carol."
- "You'd better check the trailer. I'm sure your smuggler friends would love to ride this beauty : it's bottomless and even if you run like Usain Bolt you ain't gonna reach the end of it before the end of next year. Now if you please, I gotta go."
- "No way Jose. Put both hands on your truck, if you please".
- "That would be a mistake. I've got something for you, you know ? Shouldn't tell you but there's a brand new lawnmower waiting for you at home."
- "Nice guess. And where would that be, Dear Santa ?"
- "1200 Orange Crescent, El Cajon. It ain't the model you asked cause you've been a naughty boy but there's a nice tag on it. It reads 'Edward Fink Jr' ".
- "I'll be damned..."
- "Nope. I will be if you don't help me get to Escondido by the end of next minute."

Stephane MOT 2009