White blogule to the State of the Union speech - complete and uncut edition

Exclusive - a blogules scoop: Here is the original speech to be delivered by President George W. Bush today. The text may undergo some edition but the key issues shall remain valid.

Dear fellow Amerikans,

You didn't elect me on my 2000 program, where I presented myself as a "compassionate conservatist". I had to get my mandate through other channels.
You did elect me on my action during my first term, though, and on an openly radical and fundamentalist agenda.

The least one can say is I've been delivering the goods. You can count on me to go further in the same direction and with the same determination once my lifetime nomination is confirmed. I will durably lead Our Beautiful Country towards Freedom, Obscurantism and Absolutism.

I've been criticized for not nominating Billy Graham at the Supreme Court, but I simply had in mind a position more suited for his outstanding talent : from now on, Your Government will have a Chief Evangelist to whom will report, beyond the Supreme Court : the Department Of Justice, the Department of Homeland Security, and the Department Of Education. The Chief Evangelist will only report to God and the President and will always be nominated by the latter. He and his teams won't have to report to the Congress. On the contrary, the Chief Evangelist will nominate one third of all congressmen, selecting the most reliable candidates according to their knowledge of the scriptures and their devotion to the Intelligent Design.

Dear fellow Amerikans, despite being focused on the fight against Evil and Terror, Your Government keeps in mind other major challenges. Confronted to the rise of such countries as India or China, Our Wonderful Country can leverage on over 9 million square kilometers of land, but on a little bit less than 300 million people. We should be able to reach the density of - say - France, which would help us reach the one billion citizen mark.
Verily, verily, I say to you : Grow and Multiply ! Your Government will facilitate the building of new colonies across our most remote territories. We will for instance make sure every part of Alaska is not only suitable for well heated housing projects but also for tobacco or cotton fields. This dream can be fulfilled thanks to the immense reserves of this vast part of Our Glorious Nation.
We will also facilitate the circulation of all Amerikans between Alaska and the Mainland in spite of the wall we had to erect along the Canadian borders in order to stop their murderous terror attacts and their weaselish infiltrations of subversive ideologies.

I solemny remind the Canadian Government how seriously they should consider our ultimatum. Their pathetic gesticulations at what's left of the UN in Geneva won't help them escape their duties : we expect the full disclosure of their WMD programs and our british allies fully support this most vital request.
We will prevail : abandoned by the Commonwealth, the Canadian Government are in the last throes of their insurrection against their own people.

More than two centuries after its foundation, Our Lovely Country has never been so close to fulfil its dream of Freedom across the whole territory it was meant to liberate. We soon will be able to get rid of the absurd local administrations that paralyze our institutions. Inch'Allah, The United States of America shall become The United State of Amerika.

Long life to Liberty, long life to Freedom and God bless you all, Amen.

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