20110512

Truthers Part MMXI - Saving Private Bin Laden

Osama Bin Laden is not dead. Of course, the US confirmed his death*, and so did al Qaeda, not to mention Osama's daughter, an eye witness of the operation. But for Truthers**, Bin Laden is not dead.

To their credit, his elimination brought all the ingredients needed for a good conspiration theory with a stealth chopper parading next to a Pakistanese army base, a body discarded into the sea, and a final victory speech by Agent O from the Men In Black... But no. Osama is not dead. Truthers ask for pieces of evidence they will anyway never consider as true, as usual.

Because for a Truther, the truth lies somewhere else an preferably in some remote, hidden place. Those guys love the X-Files because you only catch a few subliminal glimpses of The Unbelievable. Not the classic B-movie where Godzilla shows his ugly plastic face on every frame, no. Here, everything is suggested, with here and there a 25th image stolen from an impossible angle, just to maintain the suspense and to help those nerds moving one nanoinch closer to their elusive orgasm. And above all, no final conclusion. Because a solved and close case means death. Their death.

So no, Bin Laden is not dead. Or maybe he'll resuscitate the third day. Anyway, bet on more sightings on video : as a Yeti up in the Himalayas, as a Dahu in the Swiss Alps, as Rick Astley in the Apple Store... it doesn't matter if, for the same lunatics, Bin Laden didn't exist in the first place. Just like September 11, 2001, that mythic, concealed, classified day when all cameras where simultaneously hacked by a clone of Kim Jong-il.

Navy Seals didn't assassinate Bin Laden : Americans got rid of the worst enemy of Islam***. Using methods (un)worthy of Mossad (when they don't imitate Borat, that is - see "
Israel's Funniest Away Videos"), but also using a clear mandate against the criminal at the top of the world's most wanted list. Moderate Muslims applaud, but Truthers see a Zionist plot, a grotesque Photoshop forgery. The impostor who announced the death of their hero ? Michael Jackson. The old man watching the terrorist on his TV ? Elvis himself, barely recognizable after his opium diet in Afghanistan. Amateur work.

Now Truthers, they're true professionals : field journalists who investigate beyond what official media say, but never far away from the Truthersphere... except when they dump tons of Trutherisms over the web, clogging up fora and even this excuse for a website.

Actually, the true Truther doesn't want to know for fear of facing his own reality.

blogules 2011 (see also on blogules VF : "Les Truthers veulent la peau de Geronimo")

* BTW loved that cartoon (I forgot by whom) where Obama proudly brandishes his birth certificate in one hand and Osama's death certificate in the other, in front of a 2012 campaign board.
** on this weird cult, see previous episodes :
- "
ReOpenReOpenReOpen911 - the Pentagony continues" ("Truthers : la Pentagonnade continue")
- "
9/11 Truthers Knockin' At Your Door" ("Baggy truthers")
- "
11 Septembre français : l'incroyable vérité"
*** see "
Bin Laden was not a Muslim leader, he was a mass murderer of Muslims"

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