20101124

We need to talk about Kim

Hours after the shelling of Yeonpyeong island by North Korea (probably part of Kim Jong-un's training as the next mad leader - KIM the Third obviously wanted to be part of the South's naval exercises), the promotional campaign for "Korea, a good neighbor", was still playing on CNN.

Seoul's official reaction to this new provocation is likely to be one notch down the nice cop scale used after the Cheonan Tragedy (earlier this very strange year, also ridden with skirmishes). Some wrists shall even be slapped. And of course, hectoliters of tears shall flow.

"A good neighbor" ? This side of the DMZ, most certainly.

But to paraphrase Lionel Shriver's book*, "We need to talk about KIM" sooner or later.

blogules 2010 (first published on Seoul Village)

* "
We need to talk about Kevin"

20101119

Delusion Points - an interview with George W. Bush

From blogule's Agence Fausse Presse, this exclusive interview of former President George Walker Bush covers the most controversial parts of his memoirs ("Derision Points" - 2010 Drown Publishers, 7 pages, $75.6):

Katrina, paint it black:

blogules: "You say Katrina represents an all-time low for you. Can it possibly be lower than your forged war, you near-death pretzel experience, or those shoes thrown at you during the last throes of your insurgency against US democracy ?"

GWB: "Some people said I was a racist and that's simply not true. A dangerous, hardcore, fundamentalist lunatic maybe, but a racist...? that's not fair. Even my dog Barney is black."

Chairman of the Waterboard:

blogules: "You write that allowing waterboarding was the right thing to do since your personal team of torture promoters considered it legal. Have you ever tried it ?"

Dubya: "Of course I did : when I was younger I tried almost everything, remember ? Actually, that's the way I managed to quit drinking. And that's the moment when I learned that Dick Cheney was a guy I could rely on."

blogules: "He waterboarded you himself ?"

W: "Dick loves board games."

DUI with Barbara:

blogules: "In your book, you mention a disturbing episode with your mother, when you drove her to the hospital after her miscarriage".

Georgie: "Oh, that...? That's how I recall it now but as you know, I was not always myself back then. Still now I've got flashes with different versions playing in my head. In one of them, Mom carries a pink baby elephant in a jar, and it looks and smells like gimchi. Maybe a gift from Reverend Moon, a friend of Dad's, who knows ?"

blogules: "But you said it was a trauma for you back then."

W: "Yep. I was quite disapointed by her. When she first mentioned a miscarriage, I understood she won a beauty pageant at the local GM dealership."

No WMD, no regrets:

blogules: "You dared say you were disapointed not to have found any Weapon of Mass Destruction in Iraq, but your invasion was the right decision anyway ?"

Fundamentalist in Chief: "The extreme right decision, to be more accurate. Come on... You're perfectly aware that our case for Iraq was completely forged, and our intel cooked to the bone.
We invaded Iraq to give a boost to Muslim and Christian fundamentalism, and we succeeded beyond our wildest dreams."

blogules: "In a nut/bombshell: Mission accomplished ?"

Bush Jr: "Not yet: according to our plan, there must be a final war between Israel and Iran, then Jesus comes back, and ultimately the Texas Rangers win the World Series."

blogules: "I guess I can wait to read the next volume of your memoirs."


blogules 2010

20101101

SWW 2010 Anthology

Fancy some original fiction or poetry ? Take a bite of the Seoul Writers Workshop's 3rd annual anthology. And don't feel guilty about that sweet literary tooth of yours : proceeds from sales support the Korea Sexual Violence Relief Center.

Many stories featured in this anthology have been discussed over the past few months during lively, coffee-guzzling workshops at Hello Beans in Itaewon, where new members are welcomed every second Sunday : this is not an exclusive, tight-lipped club - simply a great opportunity for writers to share and enjoy each other's works. And don't feel deterred if you are not a native speaker : the SWW already embraces all continents*.

Seoul Writers :
www.seoulwriters.com/
Also
on Facebook

"Every Second Sunday" - 2010 Anthology
Edited by C.R.F. Sanders, Kathryn Whinney, Ang McLaughlin, Elena Sanchez
ISBN: 978-1-45383555-5
Also on sale at What The Book.

blogules 2010

* Full disclosure here : yours truly, a French citizen with (as you well know) a poor command of English language (not to mention his own !), contributed to this edition with a short teaser : "Kim Mudangnim".

20101031

Can America really afford a Republican Second Dip ?

Reunited they stand : Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert rocked a 'Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear' on the National Mall.

America can afford some sanity indeed these days, as the country is about to put back into power a party whose main objective for the next two years is officially to prevent a reelection of Barack Obama. Of course, to achieve such a goal, they need America to fail miserably and embrace a big fat second dip.

Republicans proved they were quite good at that : after all, Obama is essentially being blamed for taking too much time to clean their own mess (great depressions, environmental catastrophes, political divides...).

But the President's biggest mistake seems to have bet on US voters' intelligence : he sacrificed his popularity by passing courageous health and financial reforms, long term gains bound to be destroyed by a Red majority.


blogules 2010

20100830

"Restoring Honor" ? Maybe, but not the Glenn Beck way


Following Glenn Beck's 9/12-Restoring-Honor-Sarah-Palin-Tea-Party in DC, Al Sharpton exposed the imposture with a "Reclaim the Dream" rally : Glenn Beck is certainly not Martin Luther King Jr.

Anyway, what does "Restoring Honor" mean, according to Glenn Beck : restoring torture ? restoring scientific revisionism ? restoring theocracy ? restoring slavery ? restoring Wall Street bonuses ?

His "9-12 Project" (9 principles and 12 values) is supposed about to be about freedom, but fundamentally, the principles reflect the blindness of Glenn Beck and their likes, people who never understood the very principles of democracy :
- "America is good" (maybe, but not always, see Abu Ghraib and other niceties)
- "I believe in God and He is the center of my life" (great, but not everybody feels the same, and democracy is about respecting that essential right - PS: provided God exists, maybe God is not a He)
- "I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday" (you did start low and improved a bit, Glenn, but nobody is perfect - and certainly not you)
- "The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government" (everybody must follow the law, Glenn. Everybody. PS: wait a sec'... isn't putting yourself above "the ultimate authority" a capital sin ?)
- "If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it" (not even Alberto Gonzales, a guy who wanted Justice to be really blind)
- "I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results" (well - there are a few documents, laws, constitution, bill of rights... meant to improve the said guarantee)
- "I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable" (if you disagree with democracy, find yourself another country)
- "It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion" (democracy works when everybody respect it, not when some shoot at people who disagree with themselves)
- "The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me" (you really don't understand the two-way democracy works, do you ?)

Mr Beck follows principles that led to such abuses as Abu Ghraib or Enron. I hope American voters share higher moral standards and will vote wisely this November.

And I hope American voters will try to think by themselves, keep informed, compare opinions, look for facts. And push for even more reforms and transparency. It can also be good for health, as this "Story of Cosmetics" reminds us :


blogules 2010

20100815

Europe's extreme right leaders expose Japanese counterparts

My first reaction when I saw Jean-Marie Le Pen and fellow fascists visit the controversial Yasukuni Shrine on every international media was to hope this would wake up the Japanese people : these guy are the shame and the scum of Europe, and they've been invited by your own fascist leaders. Would you still support a Japanese minister who visits this infamous shrine ?

Naoto Kan, the new P.M., officially stated that he would never do it*, and Japanese extreme-right leaders made the mistake of exposing their own stupidity through this miserable PR event. They proved they existed and had friends at the global level, but they also revealed their true nature to the Japanese public : not "nationalists", but die-hard fascist revisionists who are betraying their own people.

The question is : will the Japanese people keep allowing those thugs to decide who can be Prime Minister and what should be written in history textbooks ?

blogules 2010 - see also in VF ("L'extreme-droite Japonaise invite Le Pen... et les projecteurs")

* Well. Hatoyama started well too, but eventually gave in to the extremist minority that has been plaguing Japanese politics since WWII : "Hatoyama's Christmas gift to Japanese extreme right"

20100806

Mid-Term Elections : Sarah Palin to run in West Dakota

My dear fellow Amerikans,

Howdy lads and gals ?

As you know, my second book, "Amerika by Heart: reflections on family, faith, and flags", will be published after the mid-term elections, around November 23. Depending on the result, it will either be about my role in the victory, or a "toldya so" condemnation of the GOP's doomed campaign of 2010.

After working on two books in one, my head is swimming with words, but thank God I kept my eyes on the ball... which, by the way, was much easier to find than Obama's cojones (wink - wink) !

As you also know*, I will run in 2012. I got all the credentials as a top FOX News barker. And if the Reps dare not nominate me, I'll merge the Tea Party and my fundamentalist base into a "Libertarian, Gonads, Bible, Tea Party". Will that "LGBT Party" be the pride of our glorious nation ? You betcha !

For 2010, I needed to legitimitize my involvation in the electoric process. I badly hadda run for a seat, and not only because I had a mean chili con carne for lunch. I long hesitated between West Dakota and North Virginia, and settled for the former, 'cause it has a border with Saskatchewanistan : this winter, with Todd, we're gonna Skidoo hunt Bin Laden and his fellow thugs, smoke'im out, gut'im out, hang'im high, you nam'it.

But before that, during this whole year, I'll keep reminding US voters why they need to vote Republican this November : to fight against Obama's unfair policies that granted medical care to whiners and deprived Wall Street execs from well deserved impunities, to drill deeper into the Gulf of Mexico and Alaska (and while we're at it drill even deeper into our prisoners in Abu Ghraib and Gitmo - wink - wink), to restore Amerikan values (starting with waterboarding) and the positive image of Amerika overseas, plus, of course, to go back to our sound economy of 2008.

Yours Truly,

Sarah Louise Palin


blogules 2010

* "
GOP - From Morale Building to Moral Damage Control Mode"

20100713

Paul the Octopus

Again, that World Cup post-partum blues.

That sense of emptiness, the brain progressively training itself to intercept signals involving other things than soccer balls, the effort even tougher this time because of those damned vuvuzelas (time difference ? I kind of got used to it after my tenth World Cup).

The embarrassing realization that I've been outsmarted by a squid in my predictions.

The embarrassing realization that 2010, a great year for African soccer, started with shootings at Togolese players in Angola, and continues with the murder of fans in Uganda. A Christmas tree at the DRC Soccer Federation ? Thanks, but no thanks.

The embarrassing realization that, while players tried to understand the tricky aerodynamics of Jabulani, our small planet kept moving in its very predictable way :
- The First Scrabble Wars ended with a draw between Kyrgyzstan and Uzbekistan.
- Again, Barack Obama welcomed Benjamin Netanyahu who, again the previous day, promised that this time, he would be a nice guy.
- As videos of Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest rocked the web, Haiti's Daily Eating Challenge only got a few clicks.
- US citizens let Tony the Octopus spill as much ink as he could in the Gulf of Mexico. As if Tony Hayward had a clue about what was at stake if BP picked this well instead of that one.


blogules 2010

20100615

Ronaldo's Yogi Berra moment (or is it Forrest Gump ?) : goals are like ketchup

Lucky you : it's that period when I don't spill many blogules on this lousy blog.

If "
blogules" sucks most of my energy during US elections, "footlog" sucks most of my energy during FIFA World Cups*. Mercifully, both events happen every four years, with two years between each period of apnea. But as you already know, both blogs suck 24/7/365...

Anyway. Since last Friday, I've been on World Cup mode, trying not to miss a single game in spite of time difference... and failing for some of those scheduled at 3 AM Seoul time (I could do that back in 1986 but that was the previous millenium).

So today, I will only deliver you this pearl of wisdom from Cristiano Ronaldo, a 25 year-old Portuguese striker : goals are like ketchup because when ketchup comes out, it all comes out at once.

From a 5 year old kid, it could have been cute. Here, it sounds more like an artificial Forrest Gump line than a genuine Yogi Berra moment.

Thierry Henry could join the MLS and the New York Red Bulls after the World Cup. Even past his prime, the man is able to give more to the beautiful game than nice dribbles and stupid statements. Maybe because, unlike Ronaldo, Henry loves the game more than himself.

blogules 2010

* note that footlog is in French.

20100602

Seoul National University : a league of their own

Korea's most prestigious university, "Seoul Dae", has always been a laughing stock as far as sports are concerned : Seoul National University never leaves the bottom of national rankings in collective sports, and a ten goal deficit in soccer or a twenty run loss in baseball are more than commonplace.

Chosun Ilbo Senior Editor OH Tae-jin nailed an hilarious tribute* to SNU's baseball team, but keeping one's seriousness is not that easy when you consider the bold facts : in 2004, SNU stopped a 199-game losing streak only to start a 56-game losing streak the next match, and personal statistics against this team have not been taken into account in the league standings since 1992.

Now this joke of a team just hired a prestigious coach : LEE Gwang-hwan won the KBO title (Korean pro baseball league) in 1994. Imagine Jose Mourinho taking over the perennial underdog of Portuguese university soccer.

To tell the truth, I find that a bit unfair and disrespectful to essential traditions. Seoul Dae may produce the Korean elite of tomorrow in a campus roughly the size of a small "gu" (Samsung founder's former golf club in Gwanaksan), it may boast an art museum designed by Rem Koolhaas, it still used to be the symbol of meritocracy. A lot of poor students, not much funding for sports, and a food so miserable you sometimes felt on the wrong side of the DMZ.

But the times they are a-changing. Meritocracy became hagwonocracy** nationwide, and SNU starts caring for its image as a sports powerhouse.

Well. "Powerhouse" at least in the meaning "equipped with electricity".

blogules 2010 - see the original on Seoul Village

* "
서울대 야구감독 이광환" / "LEE Gwang-hwan Seoul National University baseball coach" (오태진 20100529 - Chosun Ilbo)
** hagwons are for-profit private academies, the clear winners in Korea's suicidal competition for the best universities
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